To Brighten Your Day

From one of my best collections…LOL. Enjoy.
-MST-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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The Cynical Philosopher…

Image result for cynical

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?
 
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
 
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
 
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
 
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
 
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
 
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
 
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
 
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
 
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
 
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
 
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.
 
If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
 
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
 
I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”
 
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
 
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
 
Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
 
The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.
 
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
 
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
 
Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married.   Think of this; Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he was always drunk and in jail!

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

Clarity comes from action, not thought.
Anonymous

Fun Facts: Really? Part 19

Abraham Lincoln was in the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. He had an awesome physical size at six foot four, was widely known for his wrestling skills, and lost only one match in a dozen years.

Trillionaire Elon Musk didn’t like the school that his kids were attending, so he conceptualized and built his own named Ad Astra, which means “to the stars.”

In 1915, a millionaire named Cecil Chubb bought his wife Stonehenge for ten thousand dollars. She didn’t like it, so in 1918 she gave it to Britain and today it is valued around fifty-one million dollars.

In 1972, the king of Morocco, Hassan the Second, grabbed the radio during an assassination attempt and told the rebel pilots who were firing at him inside his Boeing 727 to “stop firing, the tyrant is dead,” which made the assassins stop their attempt.

Believe it or not, it’s possible to donate your voice. There’s an organization called VocaliD that encourages people to donate their voices so that they can recreate synthetic voices that are just as unique as fingerprints to suit individuals who have speech impairments. 

THE SPHINX—MORE ANIMALS

This is what the Democrat Socialist of America ( DSA ) and the Democrats want.  The Democrats have been supporting violence for about 10 years, and now they are losing the party to the DSA.

https://townhall.com/news/amy-curtis/2026/08/05/nrsc-el-sayed-n2680709

https://townhall.com/news/josephchalfant/2026/08/05/ted-cruz-just-brought-abdul-el-sayeds-terror-organization-ties-to-light-through-explosive-testimony-n2680768

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These are other Socialist’s ideas.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2026/08/05/socialist-candidate-francesca-hong-hates-american-holidays-cancel-thanksgiving-attacked-by-christmas/

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A wonderful Chief.

https://nypost.com/2026/08/05/opinion/gangbanging-ny-police-chief-is-a-prime-example-of-the-democratic-political-machines-power/

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They have no way to pay for anything.   America is 39 TRILLION dollars in debt.

https://townhall.com/news/amy-curtis/2026/08/06/abdul-el-sayed-how-do-we-pay-for-medicare-for-all-n2680797

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The Bored Editor:    Is anything happening, LL ?

What Life Am I On Cat:    Politics isn’t even surprising.   Archived animal links are more entertaining.

Will humans ever match nature’s wonders ?

https://nypost.com/2024/11/10/science/time-traveler-jellyfish-can-age-in-reverse-accidental-discovery/

Billy and the gator.

https://www.breitbart.com/sports/2025/02/27/watch-golfer-billy-horschel-confronts-alligator-on-course-alligator-loses/

Penguins at play.

https://tolleystopics.com/2025/03/16/penguin-bubble-party/

And shopping.

It is a strange world.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cameron-arcand/2026/05/27/buffalo-spared-from-death-over-resemblance-to-trump-n2676781

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=its+a+strange+world+song#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:14fe7d8e,vid:A0WvXpyufT8,st:0

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Tan Don’t Burn.

https://theonion.com/tanning-myth-vs-fact/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coppertone_sign

https://www.washingtontimes.com/

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Get the ungrateful pigs.

https://babylonbee.com/news/hollywood-holds-hearings-to-root-out-suspected-non-communists

https://pjmedia.com/

Bible Verse

 If the way that somebody lives pleases the Lord, the Lord will lead him into good things.

I miss him…..

Rush Limbaugh is one of the few who can look  back to earth from Heaven and say:
“I told you so.”
-Sheila Tolley-

What is for dinner?

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

The best time to start was yesterday.
The second best time is after this nap.
Anonymous

Fun Facts: Really? Part 18

Diana Kim, a photographer from Hawaii, after ten years documenting the homeless, found her own father among them.

The skull that Russians kept as evidence of Hitler’s death is actually the skull of a woman.

Happier cows really do produce more milk, and simply calling cows by individual names ups production by 3.5 %.

There exists a specially shaped knife for cleaning out Nutella jars entirely.