Sorry, said the Fairy, That is the only wish I am not allowed to grant.
Fine, I said. I wish to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people’s best interests.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh, go ahead.. I’ll wait…
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age, or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MUSTACHE.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you? Those women are going in the ‘right’ direction..?
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first ‘Marlboro Man’.
Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!
PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR!
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched – with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?”
“Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”
