Between 1992 and 2010, quarterback Brett Favre made a record 297 consecutive starts.

The Arizona Cardinals had the longest post-season victory drought in NFL history, covering 76 seasons from 1947 to 1998.

The New England Patriots scored the longest winning streak in the NFL, taking 21 games between 2003 and 2004.

In 2021, when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers took on the Kansas City Chiefs at the Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida, for Super Bowl LV, it was the first time in NFL history that a team had played a Super Bowl at their home stadium.

The most career touchdowns in NFL history is 208. Jerry Rice set the record 303 games, and played for the San Francisco 49ers, Oakland Raiders, and Seattle Seahawks from 1985 to 2004.

The NFL’s most successful coach is Don Shula, who oversaw 347 victories for the Baltimore Colts (1963-1969) and the Miami Dolphins (1970-1995) in a career spanning four decades.

NFL quarterback George Blanda played in a record 26 seasons of professional football in his 40 year career.

Jason Hanson played a record 327 games for the same team–the Detroit Lions–between 1992 and 2012. 

The record for the most consecutive games played for the same team was set by Jim Marshall of the Minnesota Vikings, who played 270 games in a row between 1961 and 1979.

Breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine.
You can’t do it in one push;
you’ve got to rock it back and forth a few times,
and then it goes over.
Jerry Seinfeld

My favorite stand-up comedian is Mitch Hedberg. He reportedly died of a drug overdose. 
My opinion is that…
Heaven needed a Great Stand Up Comedian.
-Sheila Tolley-

 Mitch Hedberg Quotes and Jokes:

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil — and the devil was dill.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

It’s hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where’s my wallet? But, hey this song is funky…”

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, It’s cool, he’s with me.

I wish I could play little league now. I’d be way better than before.

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?

I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.

When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.

You can’t please all the people all the time, and last night all those people were at my show.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for ME.

I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My friend was walking down the street and he said, I hear music. As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one is the real hero?

I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… it’s dirty.

I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people.

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.

I like vending machines because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed up.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I want to get a vending machine, with fun-sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You’ll be mad, but it will be too late.

An escalator can never break: It can only become stairs. You should never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’ sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

Every time I go and shave, I assume there’s someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, ‘I’m gonna go shave, too.’

So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that’s funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn’t funny.

Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I like to close my eyes on the stage, because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.

People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say, man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide…

I love blackjack. But I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move; you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress. She just never gets called to the set.

This one commercial said, ‘Forget everything you know about slipcovers.’ So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn’t know what they were!

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you’re feeling sick but sociable.

Last week, I helped my friend stay put. It’s a lot easier’n helpin’ ’em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load stuff into a truck.

BREAKING  NEWS

Trump updates Iran war.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2026/03/31/trump-just-made-a-major-announcement-about-iran-n2673726

CEO of JPMorgan Chase has a comment.

https://redstate.com/bobhoge/2026/03/31/ceo-of-worlds-largest-bank-has-some-harsh-reality-for-blue-states-population-exodus-is-your-own-fault-n2200819

*****

Don’t be an April Fool.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/2026/03/30/when-april-fools-day-how-started-origins-history-deals-discounts-hooters-bjs-real-joke/89383494007/

*****

Chicago is a Democrat city.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2026/03/30/how-karoline-leavitt-embarrassed-the-liberal-media-on-illegal-alien-crime-today-n2673674

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2026/03/31/something-is-very-odd-about-this-chicago-shooting-that-claimed-a-high-school-student-n2673668

*****

A Delta flight loses engine on takeoff.

https://nypost.com/2026/03/30/us-news/delta-flights-engine-explodes-in-heart-stopping-video-forcing-packed-plane-to-make-emergency-landing/

*****

Don’t lie like American Democrats.

https://redstate.com/wardclark/2026/03/30/white-house-press-sec-drops-bomb-on-iran-lie-to-us-and-get-hit-n2200789

*****

Nick’s video shuts down $170 million in fraud scheme.   Where has Gavin been?

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/dmitri-bolt/2026/03/30/nick-shirley-ca-hospice-fraudster-shuts-down-n2673636

*****

Baby Trump and Melania at dinner.

The basketball Final Four is set.

https://www.breitbart.com/news/the-final-four-is-set-with-uconn-stunning-duke-to-join-illinois-arizona-and-michigan/

*****

NATIONAL

She should be expelled, and sent to Minnesota where the big bucks are.

https://nypost.com/2026/03/27/us-news/house-ethics-committee-finds-indicted-dem-rep-sheila-cherfilus-mccormick-guilty-on-25-counts/

This goes back to when Joe was VP under Obama.

https://redstate.com/rusty-weiss/2026/03/26/whoa-nsa-intercepts-expose-ukraine-officials-discussing-laundering-us-tax-dollars-to-bidens-campaign-n2200653

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devon_Archer#:~:text=He%20was%20a%20founding%20board,natural%20gas%20producers%20in%20Ukraine.&text=Archer%20in%202024.&text=Glen%20Cove%2C%20New%20York%2C%20U.S.

After a nuclear war only cockroaches, politicians, and lawyers will survive.

https://www.breitbart.com/law-and-order/2026/03/29/florida-woman-awarded-14-million-after-eating-ice-cream-contaminated-with-metal-shards-and-nails/

Give her Epstein’s cell.

https://nypost.com/2026/03/30/us-news/former-teacher-of-the-year-finalist-sent-to-prison-for-sexual-relationship-with-student-she-is-pretty-stupid/

*****

Off to circle the moon.

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2026/03/31/nasa-begins-countdown-for-first-moon-shot-in-53-years/

*****

Mamstinky

https://pjmedia.com/vodkapundit/2026/03/30/this-trillion-dollar-firm-wants-out-of-mamdanis-nyc-n4951223

https://nypost.com/2026/03/30/opinion/mamdani-shows-no-respect-for-older-new-yorkers/

*****

The World Editor:    Did we miss World Water Day, LL ?

The H2O Cat:    We sure did, it’s March 22.  Basically it is about conserving water and having clean water.   The Great Lakes are a wonder.

The Democrats need to get a good ad agency to explain their DHS shutdown.   Thanks to RW.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/scott-mcclallen/2026/03/22/300-tsa-agents-quit-over-unpaid-wages-as-dhs-shutdown-drags-into-fifth-week-n2673257

New York, it’s so great they named it twice.

https://genesiustimes.com/mamdani-builds-12-billion-wealth-containment-wall-around-nyc-to-stop-taxpayers-from-leaving/

https://www.timesofisrael.com/

*****

Those French!!!!!

https://babylonbee.com/news/france-explains-they-cant-help-open-strait-of-hormuz-as-they-already-sent-all-15-of-their-soldiers-to-protect-greenland

https://townhall.com/

Even if our thoughts tell us that we have done something wrong, we still will not be afraid of God.
We can trust God more than we trust our thoughts. He already knows everything about us.

I wish animals could run for office…they are cooler than people!
-Sheila Tolley-

The Seattle Seahawks’ name was chosen in a public competition in 1975.

In 1916, college team Georgia Tech scored 222 points in a single game of football, including 32 touchdowns.

In 2021, the longest football game in NCAA history–which ran to a record nine overtimes–took place between the Illinois Fighting Illini and Penn State Nittany Lions.

The Green Bay Packers are unique in that their name was established in 1919 and has never been changed–nor has the team relocated.

Tom Brady has well-earned his nickname as the GOAT, or Greatest of All Time. He has appeared in more Super Bowls, a total of 10, than any other player. He has won more Super Bowls, a total of 7, than any other player. He is also the oldest player to have ever played in and won a Super Bowl.

In Super Bowl LII in 2018, the teams covered the highest combined total number of yards–1,151–in NFL history.