A woman is preparing a dinner for her parents and sends her husband out to buy some fresh snails.

The husband buys the snails then pops into the pub for a quick drink.

One thing leads to another and he stays for a few rounds, so many in fact, that by the time he leaves it’s 9 in the evening.

Realizing he’s extremely late the husband runs home, pours the snails over the path leading to his house, then he rings the bell.

His furious wife opens the door. ‘Where the hell have you been?’ she screams.

The husband waves back to the snails, ‘Come on, lads!’ he shouts ‘We’re almost there!’

Fun Facts: Really? Part 7

In 2003, a Coca-Cola employee was fired because he was drinking Pepsi on the job.

In 1952, Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel. However, he politely declined the offer.

Up until the late 1960’s, long-haired male visitors to Disneyland were turned away because they didn’t meet the unwritten dress code.

Melba toast and Peach Melba are both named after the most famous opera singer of the late Victorian era, Dame Nellie Melba.

On January 1 st, 1976, the day that relaxed marijuana laws came into effect in California, Danny Finegood, an art student at Cal State Northridge, and some of his friends, took $50 worth of fabric to the Hollywood sign and changed it to read “Hollyweed.” They used the gag as a school project, earning them an A.

Hollyweed': California's Hollywood sign changed in post ...

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the
reason is you made a dumb decision.
Anonymous

THE SPHINX—WHY GOVERNMENT SUX

Let’s see how much of Joe’s dementia they covered up.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/amy-curtis/2026/07/27/biden-tapes-n2680193

*****

Good.

https://redstate.com/kyle-becker/2026/07/27/more-deep-state-firings-acting-dni-continues-to-purge-intel-community-n2204803

*****

POLITICS

It takes time to rebuild a country trashed by the Democrats.

https://redstate.com/ben-smith/2026/07/23/ivy-league-is-out-hegseth-picks-unc-and-virginia-tech-to-train-americas-military-leaders-n2204702

*****

Musk will take us to Mars.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/25/science/spacex-launches-starship-on-another-test-flight-with-most-advanced-starlinks/

*****

Minnesota makes more grooming children news.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/25/us-news/taxpayer-funded-transgender-dolls-to-hit-classrooms-this-fall/

Go have a Bud Light.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/27/business/cracker-barrel-ceo-julie-felss-masino-steps-down-after-woke-rebrand-sparked-backlash-from-customers-and-even-trump/

Oregon news.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/josephchalfant/2026/07/27/oregons-ploy-to-ban-hunting-and-ranching-just-crashed-and-burned-n2680221

Prayers for Carly Simon.

https://pagesix.com/2026/07/27/entertainment/youre-so-vain-singer-carly-simon-diagnosed-with-parkinsons-disease/?_gl=1*7nx19t*_ga*NTg1MzMxMTkyLjE3NzIyMTkxMjU.*_ga_0DZ7LHF5PZ*czE3ODUxNjE5ODAkbzQ3MyRnMSR0MTc4NTE2Mjg0MyRqNjAkbDAkaDA.

The I Want Justice Editor:    Can you give me justice, LL ?

The Fair Cat:    I sure can.   First, I would let everyone who supports this HOR member get free medical care from every doctor who failed their test, including medical schools in the Caribbean.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/amy-curtis/2026/07/16/rep-summer-lee-admits-she-wants-more-black-doctors-even-if-theyre-unqualified-n2679560

We would use the same type of qualified employee to send out checks for unemployment, SNAP-food, rent-housing, HOR bank deposits, etc.

This is our screwed over American of the day.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/17/us-news/baltimore-daughter-kristina-moore-inherited-dads-home-takes-on-228k-water-bill-that-she-says-belongs-to-entire-neighborhood/

This is bazaar, one water meter for 37 homes.   How did it get to 228 thousand ???

This is a great repeat.   Humans will choke on their own garbage and poison.   Maybe the Woolly Mammoth will replace them.

https://theonion.com/last-ever-global-warming-report-released-for-posterity/

https://www.seattletimes.com/

*****

Spud you California.

https://babylonbee.com/news/idaho-builds-border-wall-out-of-potatoes-to-keep-out-californians

https://redstate.com/

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Psyche Receives Gravity Assist from Mars
Video Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/ASU/True Story Films
Text: Keighley Rockcliffe (NASA GSFC, UMBC CSST, CRESST II)

Explanation: Solar System bodies make deep space exploration more fuel efficient! Today’s video shows the Psyche spacecraft gaining speed and changing its trajectory with minimal fuel spent due to a gravity assist from Mars in May 2026. Mars has an average orbital speed of almost 87,000 km/h (54,000 mph) around the Sun. Its orbital motion and its gravity allowed Mars to pull Psyche along with it, increasing the spacecraft’s speed. Gravity assists have been used since 1959’s Luna 3 mission to allow for spacecraft (the Voyagers, Cassini) to reach farther than they could with fuel alone. This assist helped the Psyche spacecraft on its journey to the Psyche asteroid, which it will reach in 2029. While passing Mars, the spacecraft tested instruments that will analyze the asteroid’s composition and magnetic field. This is the first mission to an asteroid thought to be largely made of metal, an essential building block for planets, rather than rock or ice.

Find dark skies and look up this August to witness the Perseid meteor shower uninhibited by the Moon!
Tomorrow’s picture: a red Sun

Bible Verse

God, help us! You are the one who can save us. Rescue us, so that people will respect your great name. Forgive our sins, so that people know you are good.

Whiter Shade of Pale

Patriot Post Memes

 

A lady is walking down the street…

A lady is walking down the street and sees a parrot in the window of a pet store.

She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work.

The next day she sees the same parrot in the window. When the parrot sees her it says, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” She’s livid, and storms off.

A day later she sees the same parrot and once again it says, “Hey lady, my God are you ugly.” The lady is so furious that she marches into the store and threatens to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologizes profusely and promises the bird won’t say it again.

The next day when the lady walks past the store the parrot says to her, “Hey lady. Lady!” She pauses, scowls with an icy stare, and says, “Yes?” And the parrot says, “… You know…”

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

“In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards.”
Mark Twain