Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom
Having a two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
THE SPHINX—ANIMALS
The Houthi want more war.
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Alaskans need to read this about Rank Choice Voting ( RCV ).
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The NFL can’t get out of its own way.
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Texas.
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Shorts were forbidden.
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Iraq.
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What happened to Hollywood.
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One opinion.
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A new heliport.
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The Animal Editor: Are animals still popular, LL ?
The Feline Cat: Would you rather read about politicians ?????? The first up is the University of Texas mascot.
https://media.breitbart.com/media/2025/01/GettyImages-2178397407-640×480.jpg
The next is UGA from the University of Georgia.
Maybe the most famous UGA.
https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/49825822/continue/play
Video stolen.
https://theonion.com/rockstar-leaks-worsen-as-hackers-release-fully-playable-copy-of-gta-ix/
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Is there an answer ?
https://theonion.com/god-struggling-to-remember-why-he-made-so-many-ugly-people/
A Bit of Levity – Sorry about the puns!🤪
• Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro: what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Talent & Imagination
When a tree is no longer just a tree.
Fun Facts: Food & Drinks Part 10
Humans are the only animals that enjoy spicy foods.
There is a bar in London that sells vaporized vodka, which is inhaled instead of sipped.
Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun.
Four-hundred quarter pounders can be made from one cow.
Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.
Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom
Experience is something you don’t get until…
just after you need it.
Steven Wright
THE SPHINX—WATCH A ONCE GREAT EMPIRE FALL
Two peas in a pod.
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From the Cowboy State.
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Frazil Ice at Yosemite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V9p4mFEYXc
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Refund.
https://townhall.com/news/amy-curtis/2026/09/10/lbc-5000-dividend-check-a-bribe-n2682745
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Iran
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New Jersey park closes.
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A good sign.
https://www.newsmax.com/world/globaltalk/israel-embassy-slovenia/2026/09/09/id/1268860/
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Most people want you to leave ” Poopsi ” at home.
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He might be killed trying to escape.
https://www.newsmax.com/us/khalid-sheikh-mohammed-sept-11-terrorism/2026/09/11/id/1269084/
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The History Editor: Is the Roman Empire falling again, LL ?
The Try From Memory Cat: This is from my British cat memory. It kind of started with their defeat of Napoleon. They built on their navy, it ruled the waves for over two hundred years. The American colonies were lost but, they ruled over Australia, Canada, India, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and numerous lands they passed through. Hong Kong was returned to China in 1999.
WW II pretty much doomed the Empire that at one time ” the sun never set “. Now they have let so many immigrants in, they are ashamed to show their flags. The newcomers have nothing in common with the British.
The Democrats want the same thing for America. Remember the 40 Trillion the American government owes almost everyone? A song for the once great empire.
Give weekly exams.
https://theonion.com/chippendales-recalls-4000-tons-of-tainted-man-meat/
https://www.bbc.com/news/england/manchester
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Saving one at a time.
Astronomy Picture of the Day
A Daytime Eclipse: Moon Occults Venus
Image Credit & Copyright: Arnaud Mariat
Explanation: There was something behind the clouds. Upon close inspection, it was the Moon, which was hard to see yesterday around noon above the small village of Cessy, France. But soon, it was not only the Moon. As expected, a bright dot suddenly appeared from behind the Moon — the planet Venus far in the distance. Captured in the single featured exposure, both appeared to show a crescent phase. The Moon’s crescent was quite slight — with only about 10 percent of its face illuminated by the Sun. In contrast, Venus’s crescent was more full — showing about 25 percent illumination. Venus appeared brighter because it is nearer the Sun and because its clouds are more reflective than the dark lunar surface. An occultation of Venus by the Moon is visible to only about 10 percent of the Earth, but in yesterday’s event even most of that was experiencing daytime.
Tomorrow’s picture: galactic eye
Bible Verse
The whole earth belongs to the Lord. Everybody who lives in the world and all the things in it belong to him.
