Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom
Follow your heart but
take your brain with you.
Alfred Adler
The Amazing Marula Tree of South Africa
The Marula tree grows in South Africa. South African’s also call it, the Elephant Tree or Marriage Tree. The fruit from the Marula tree taste like a caramel flavored alcohol that the wild animals love to eat.
You can buy distilled Marula Tree liqueur (17% alcohol) from a liquor store if they carry that brand.
“Looks like Mardi Gras in South Africa. They may need an Animal version of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
-Sheila Tolley-
Children’s Letters to God…
Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? ~ Norma
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? ~ Jane
Who draws the lines around the countries? ~ Nan
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? ~ Neil
Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. ~ Joyce
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. ~ Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. ~ Bruce
If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. ~ Denise
I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. ~ Sam
I think about you sometimes, even when I’m not praying. ~ Elliott
I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it. ~ Nan
Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best. ~ Rob
My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn’t sound right. They are just kidding, aren’t they? ~Marsha
If you watch me in church Sunday, I’ll show you my new shoes. ~ Mickey
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea, RIGHT? ~ Sincerely, Donna
I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already. ~ Charles
I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool! ~Eugene
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.~John
Astronomy Picture of the Day
Saturn Behind the Moon
Explanation: Sometimes Saturn disappears. It doesn’t really go away, of course — it just disappears from our view when Earth’s Moon moves in front. Such a Saturnian eclipse, more formally called an occultation, was visible in early 2025 along a small swath of Earth — from Greenland through central Europe and into northern Africa. The featured image is a digital fusion of three images, the first of just Saturn before it disappeared, and then two more of the Moon with different exposure lengths. The images were taken from Sardinia, Italy, after sunset. The bright dot near Saturn is not a moon of Saturn, but rather the star 85 Aquarii, which is further behind Saturn than Saturn is behind the Moon. The next time the Moon moves in front of Saturn, as visible from some place on Earth, will be in 2031.
Tomorrow’s picture: small but mighty
Bible Verse
Patriot Post Memes
Talarico…that sounds like a menu item at a Mexican Restaurant, doesn’t it?
Get real TalaFreako…The only Gun Ban(d) to ever happen in Texas is GUNS N’ ROSES. You can forget Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door. After your ridiculous comments about Jesus, you will not even be allowed on the Stairway to Heaven.
-Sheila Tolley-
Amazon still sells the Tide Pods…Just say they are FREE, they will still eat them.
-MST-
Just one good magnet and they can be led around by their noses.
-MST-
For sure, he still has that number. He keeps it in his Koran.
-MST-
Think cereal…that is a box of Fruit Loops.
-MST-
Wacky & Weird Facts: Animals Part 46
When cats look you in the eye and slowly blink, they’re actually trying to tell you that they’re in love with you.
A study showed that bottlenose dolphins have the longest memories in the animal kingdom. In fact, they can remember the whistles of other dolphins that they’ve lived with even after twenty years of separation.
Africanized bees, known as “killer bees,” are hybrids that accidentally escaped quarantine and have since spread throughout the Americas.
When given the choice between normal water and morphine water, secluded rats always choose the drugged water, and would always die. However, rats provided with space, friends, and games rarely took the drug water and never became addicted or overdosed despite many attempts made by humans to trick them.
Platypuses don’t have stomachs.
Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom
Before you marry a person,
you should first make them use a computer with
slow Internet to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell
The Poetry Contest
A poetry contest had come down to two semi-finalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck. They were given a word, then allowed a minute to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”.
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd loved it! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three sluts in a pop-up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Tim bucked two.
*
*