Don’t count the days,
make the days count.
Muhammad Ali

The reflex that causes people to sneeze when looking at the sun is called the “photic sneeze reflex.” It’s also known as Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome, which abbreviates ADCHOO.

When your eyes move, your brain purposely blocks your vision, which is why you can’t see the motion of your own eyes in a mirror. This is called “saccadic masking” and without it, your life would be like watching a constant movie that’s filled with a shaky hand-held camera.

Argyria is a condition that turns a person’s skin a bright blue color. It’s caused by chronic exposure to silver.

You can have brain surgery and not feel any pain because the brain itself does not have any pain receptors. 

There’s a genetic disease called Laron Syndrome that results in short stature, long life expectancy, and near immunity to cancer and diabetes.

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.

A hungry sea lion pup once walked into a fancy San Diego restaurant, and sat down at a prime table with an ocean view.

Stress literally kills your brain. Studies have found that months of exposure to stress can permanently destroy neurons in your brain, which affects learning, impulse control, reasoning, and memory.

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked,  Is my time up?”

God said, “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied: “I didn’t recognize you!”

$5.37….That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
 
He said, “It’s OK. I’ll just give you the senior citizen discount.”

 I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. “Only $4.68” he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet?  A mere child!  Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind?  As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.  Old? Me?

I’ll show him, I thought.  I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

“Dude! Can’t get too far without your car keys, eh?” 

I stared with utter disdain at the keys.  I began to rationalize in my mind! “Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!  It could happen to anyone!”

I turned and headed back to the truck.  I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn’t turn. What now?  I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That’s when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.  I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus:  The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.  A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

 Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot,  relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.  That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!  My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito,  only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage,  and strode back into the restaurant one final time.  There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish.  All I could think was, “What is the world coming to?”

All I could say was, “Did I leave my food and drink in here”?  At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue.  I walked back out to the truck,  and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention.  He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained,  “I think you left this in my truck by mistake.”

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words:  “It’s OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time.”

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone.  Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.  And no, I told the officer, I’m not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.  I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket.  I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other “old fogies” on your list (so they can have fun laughing, too).

Notice the larger type?  That’s for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth…… It’s the only planet with chocolate!!!!!

Oops, did I send this to you already

RIP Lindsey.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/12/us-news/lindsey-graham-had-among-the-lowest-wealth-in-congress-despite-a-lifetime-at-the-center-of-power/

His sister is an interim replacement, until November elections.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cameron-arcand/2026/07/13/we-now-know-who-will-likely-replace-lindsey-graham-n2679322

*****

Can’t White people be proud of their race ?

https://www.breitbart.com/sports/2026/07/10/braves-announcer-goes-viral-for-compliment-gone-terribly-wrong/

*****

The Socialist-Democrat Party’s accomplishments.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/09/real-estate/california-ranked-among-the-worst-states-to-move-to-in-2026/

*****

What a joke.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/amy-curtis/2026/07/10/gretchen-whitmer-pardons-killer-to-block-deportationtetex-n2679096

*****

Minnesota is a depraved state.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2026/07/10/ice-deports-illegal-alien-child-rapist-pardoned-minnesota-tim-walz/

Depraved is an adjective describing someone or something that is morally corrupt, wicked, or perverted. It indicates a severe lack of moral decency, often implying behavior or a state of mind that is capable of extreme cruelty.

*****

This group was a partner with BLM when Democrat Governors let them take over city blocks during COVID.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/dmitri-bolt/2026/07/13/marco-rubio-is-about-to-wage-a-global-war-against-antifa-n2679292

Geno must be one of the other citizens.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/13/sports/geno-smith-stopped-by-cops-for-third-time-in-three-months/

*****

The Land Baron Editor:    What’s new in real estate, LL ?

The Snoopy Cat:   Here is a one of a kind property.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/02/real-estate/long-islands-only-legal-floating-home-hits-the-market-for-449k/

Mr. Griffin has money to burn.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/02/real-estate/ken-griffin-bought-a-miami-condo-building-one-by-one-just-to-tear-it-down/

This is a repeat.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/02/real-estate/billionaire-soros-clan-scooping-up-property-on-shelter-island/

Maybe San Francisco has reached its peak population.   Times have changed from the sixties.

https://nypost.com/2026/07/03/real-estate/san-francisco-apartment-rents-are-soaring-new-report/

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=song+if+you+are+going+to+san+francisco#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:1e040a82,vid:bch1_Ep5M1s,st:0

*****

Those Demoncrats!!!!

https://genesiustimes.com/breaking-chicago-celebrates-juneteenth-by-hosting-75-murders-over-the-weekend/

https://www.timesofisrael.com/

*****

What celebration ?

https://babylonbee.com/news/chicago-police-assure-residents-those-loud-popping-noises-are-just-gunshots

https://www.breitbart.com/

I guess  Gavin Newsom was working late on his
High Speed Rail System when this post was released,
(or maybe JB Pritzker ate him.)
-Sheila Tolley-