2 Peter 3:8 My friends, here is one thing that you must remember. In the Lord God’s mind, one day and 1,000 years are the same. For him, 1,000 years is like a single day.
Believe me my friends. I trust The Lord God a lot more than I trust the government. In fact, there is no comparison possible.
By my calculation, instead of 73 years old, I am 26,645,000 years old.
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960’s:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970’s:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980’s:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990’s:
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?
(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok. )
Teaching Math Today:
Un ha chero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la Producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
One morning, a husband returns the family boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”).
“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”
“Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the Game Warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!!
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?”
The bank manager looks back at her and says:
“It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
A man spoke to each of his 3 sons when he sent them to college. “I feel it’s my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a gesture of appreciation, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die.” And so it happened.
His sons became a doctor, a financial planner and a lawyer, each successful financially. When their father died and they saw him in the coffin, they remembered his wish.
The doctor stacked 10 crisp $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased father.
The financial planner placed $1,000 there in 20 crisp $50 bills.
Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer’s turn. He slowly reached into his pocket, removed his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father’s coffin, and took the $2,000 cash. The lawyer is now in Congress, probably from your district.
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