Day: March 26, 2025
PATRIOT POST MEMES
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For sure Tampon Tim, I remember on your VP campaign trail you could almost pick your foot up off the floor. Seems like you almost Hokied but could not quite Pokey or turn yourself around. Try a few leg lifts and squats!
-Sheila Tolley-
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These Democrats are just too much fun. 29% approval rating…LOL. In other words, if you went into The Dollar Store, you could buy 3 Democrats for a dollar and get thirteen cents back in change.
-Sheila Tolley-
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I can’t wait…Old Joe is going to ride in on a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
-Sheila Tolley-
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You had better be nice, Tampon Tim…Cackling Kamala may refuse your offer to be your VP.
-Sheila Tolley-
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No Sir, no other network roots for criminals more than CNN.
Criminal News Network.
-Sheila Tolley-
IF ONLY…
It sure would be a wonderful world if people had compassion like some animals.
-Sheila Tolley-
IF THE SHOE FITS……..
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed your ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally .
I assumed you had stolen the car.”
Are you a Lexophile?
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
Grins….
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Just checking…
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Tolley's Topics 