“Poor Old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man trying to fish in a puddle of water outside of the bar. He decided to invite the old man inside for a drink.

As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught so far?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth today.”

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This makes me feel “Pretty Proud Of My Saddle Oxford Shoes…Let’s Dance.”
-Sheila Tolley-

You are just a CLICK away from a trip to
The Vintage Fifties!

https://www.yout-ube.com/watch?v=TmsahlXby7c&autoplay=1

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For sure Tampon Tim, I remember on your VP campaign trail you could almost pick your foot up off the floor. Seems like you almost Hokied but could not quite Pokey or turn yourself around. Try a few leg lifts and squats!
-Sheila Tolley-

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These Democrats are just too much fun. 29% approval rating…LOL. In other words, if you went into The Dollar Store, you could buy 3 Democrats for a dollar and get thirteen cents back in change.
-Sheila Tolley-

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I can’t wait…Old Joe is going to ride in on a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
-Sheila Tolley-

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You had better be nice, Tampon Tim…Cackling Kamala may refuse your offer to be your VP.
-Sheila Tolley-

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No Sir, no other network roots for criminals more than CNN.
Criminal News Network.
-Sheila Tolley-

 

It sure would be a wonderful world if people had compassion like some animals.
-Sheila Tolley-

  

   I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

   Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

   Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

   The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

   To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

   When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

   The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months.

  A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A.

 The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

 A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

 A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

 A will is a dead giveaway.

 Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

 A backward poet writes inverse.

 In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

 A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

 If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

 With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

 When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

 You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

 Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

 He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

 A calendar’s days are numbered.

 A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

 If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

 Acupuncture: a jab well done.

 A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

 

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