WRITTEN BY: LOIS LION

I have been face-timing with my Cat Jesus. I wanted to be sure that I am signed up for The Blessed & Highly Favored MAGA Package which includes the new high tariffs on China.

I am really tired of paying for Chinese Rats. If they cannot “GET WITH THE PROGRAM” I may be forced to order my Rats from Chicago, Los Angeles or New York. They have a huge surplus…and to be honest with you…”I do not think that Xi Jinping Dude has enough Respect for American Cats. That little fella needs to make an appointment with me if he wants to keep my Cat Business. I have over 75 countries wishing to negotiate my contracts for rats, cat food, cat toys, litter, litter boxes, collars, brushes, etc.”