Sign in a Shoe Repair Store:

We will heel you.

We will save your sole.

We will even dye for you.

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:

“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist’s Office:

“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,

You’ve come to the right place.”

On a Plumber’s truck :

“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

“Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck:

“Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:

“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:

“Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership:

“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:

“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:

“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:

“We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:

“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:

“Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

“Best place in town to take a leak.”

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises”