Cotopaxi is a sustainable outdoor brand based out of Salt Lake City, Utah. The brand was named after one of the world’s highest active volcanoes, Cotopaxi. The Ecuadorian mountain’s roaming llamas, seemingly endless trails, and beautiful glacial streams are what inspired Cotopaxi founder, Davis Smith, to choose the name.

Dear Mr. Smith:

Each morning as I compile my Conservative Only MEMES for my blog site, I see your ad that is shown above.

Granted, most people are Bait Clickers and would click on your BIG bait of 50% off. I am not most people.

Each passing day as I passed over your ad, more questions came to mind. I am a 72 year old grandmother. My first thought was, this company is advertising outdoor Winter favorites. This girl is going to catch her death of a cold (that’s what we said in the old days.) Why isn’t she wearing a hat? Then I asked myself, What is that furry animal attacking her shoulders? Is she trying to run away from the little furry creature? Is it biting her?  Oh no! She is rapidly hopping away because she only has one leg! That explains why she is leaning so much to the left (I worry about anyone who leans left when voting season is close.) I was almost in tears until I printed your ad and took it outside to view it in the sunlight. Then I noticed…

She is wearing a hat. The furry critter is actually her hair. She does have two legs because I can see the bottom of her right shoe, which matches her invisible hat. Then, with great relief, I realized that the one-legged girl who was hopping rapidly down the road while a hairy critter was chewing on her, was going to be fine. After all, she is wearing a very nice, multi-color Winter Favorite jacket.

I feel much better now, Mr. Smith. I do have some questions for you since you are the owner of Cotopaxi Outdoor Brand.

Does Alissa Heinerscheid work for your company? After she was fired from Anheuser-Busch for putting Tranny Dylan Mulvaney on Bud Light Beer, she had to be looking for a job.

Maybe not. Perhaps the photographer was just in a hurry the day this particular picture was taken. Just allow this old Grandma to give you a little constructive criticism.

Do not choose your Camo Dirt Road shade of hat when your model is running (or hopping) down a dirt road.

Take that extra mili-second and let both legs be visible in the picture.

Put that hair in a pony tail or tuck it under the newly selected bright colored hat.

Pull her arms down a bit so she does not inadvertently, become airborne.

I have enjoyed spending time with you, Mr. Smith. I do have one more suggestion for you. This may be costly, but you REALLY need to change the name of your company.

I mean, C’mon man…

COTOPAXI sounds like something that is found in the feminine hygiene isle at Walmart.

I AM GONNA GET ME ONE OF THOSE BRIGHT COLORED COATS JUST IN CASE I EVER NEED TO HOP RAPIDLY DOWN A DIRT ROAD IN THE WINTER TO ESCAPE A FURRY ANIMAL.