Conservative Only MEMES

Indian Hills Funny Signs….

Conservative Only MEMES

Here “IT” is….

https://x.com/SteveGuest/status/1816520059310997946

Conservative Only MEMES

A Virgin Bride On Her 4th Wedding

Image result for wedding bells

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

“Of course, madam,”  replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?”

The bride-to-be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the first time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning.”

“WELL!”   replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness,  “I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate.  Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he had a heart attack due to an unknown congenital condition as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”

“What about your third husband?”

“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the  edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”

*

Conservative Only MEMES

Hamas Supporters have taken over our U.S. Capitol

https://x.com/CitizenFreePres/status/1815832837108756876

Conservative Only MEMES

I LOVE Smudge the cat. Here with another opinion! LOL!
-Sheila Tolley-

Keep Smiling…Part 3

 

How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I have to eat before I start seeing results?

Growing old is hard work…The mind says “yes,” but the body says “What are you thinking?!!”

My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back.

There are times when my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet…but only for like 20 seconds…and only once.

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me there.

I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Left Tackle?”

I don’t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get elected.

The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

No one ever says, “It’s only a game!” when their team’s winning.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?

Snowmen fall from heaven unassembled.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t need the stupid class!

Don’t argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn’t you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison.