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Math through the Ages

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Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math:

Teaching Math In 1950’s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

 

Teaching Math In 1960’s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

 

Teaching Math In 1970’s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

 

Teaching Math In 1980’s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

 

Teaching Math In 1990’s:

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?

(There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok. )

 

Teaching Math Today:

Un ha chero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la Producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

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I was perplexed……

spine

MEDICAL SCHOOL EXAM:

When I took the entrance exam for medical school, I was perplexed by this question:

“Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out the part of the human body that is most useful when erect.”

Those who spelled SPINE became doctors. The rest are in Congress.

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Fear the truth from old people…….

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Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’ The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’

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Al “Spider Monkey” Sharpton

Well, it is no wonder that Al Sharpton and his Merry Band are campaigning for slavery reparations. It is also no surprise that he hates Donald Trump. After all, he resided in the Lincoln Bedroom of the white house through obama’s eight (devastating) years. His plush surroundings declined when President Donald Trump was elected.

I certainly hope the IRS collects the millions that Al still owes in taxes…or at least subtracts them from his reparation check.   

-Sheila Tolley-

 

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Texas…..

hat

An elderly couple, Rose and Jim, moved to Hamilton, Texas.  Jim had always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, and when he saw that a store was having a big sale on them, he bought a pair and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and asked his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Rose gave him a quick once over and replied, “Nope.”

Frustrated, Jim stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen, this time completely naked except for his new pair of boots.  A little louder this time  he asked,  “Notice anything different NOW?”

Rose looked up and replied, “Jim, what’s different?  It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down tomorrow!!”

Furious now, he yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, ROSE?”

“No,” she replied.  “But I’m sure you’re going to tell me…” 

“It’s hanging down, because it’s looking at my new boots!!”

With no change of expression whatsoever, Rose replied,

“SHOULDA BOUGHT A HAT.”

 

How Many Bricks?

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While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

“What are they doing?” she asked the tour guide.

“Each year,” he replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.”

When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: “So, what’s the answer?”

The guide replied: “One.”

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