A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet… “How can you be so sure?” she protested.. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman… The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill.”$1,500!” she cried, “$1,500 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $1,500.”

*
*

This is believable and will make you smile. In case you are having a rough day, here’s a stress management technique that has been recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

 Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out
over a crystal clear stream.

 Both your hands are in the cool running water.

 Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

 No one knows your secret place.

 You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the World.

 The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a
cascade of serenity.

 The water is so clear you can make out the face of the Democrat
you are holding underwater.

See, it worked.

You’re smiling.

You’re feeling better already.

“Stupid is as stupid does” is a well-known idiom meaning that a person’s intelligence should be judged by their actions, not their appearance or inherent intelligence level. It suggests that a person can be considered “stupid” if they act foolishly, even if they are otherwise intelligent, and conversely, a person who may seem slow-witted can prove their worth through positive actions. The phrase was popularized by the 1994 movie Forrest Gump, where the character Forrest’s mother often quoted the idiom.

Please imagine this hypothetical story with me: The Magic Man brought me a gift. It is a one-of-a-kind lawn mower. It runs on perpetual motion and the guarantee is infinite. My gift knows when my grass needs cutting. It turns itself on and cuts my grass perfectly, then parks itself. It activates itself at night, with zero noise so that less wildlife and people are disturbed. I love my gift from the Magic Man. I have decided to put my free gift from the Magic Man on Craig’s List and give it away, for free. It costs me nothing, and I want a new zero turn lawn mower.

HOW STUPID AM I?

I would be totally STUPID. I would be trading a proven product for something that may or may not give satisfactory results.

Now, let’s look at a couple of real life stories which were totally STUPID.

Real life totally STUPID story # 1:

New Coke was released on April 23, 1985. It was a reformulated version of Coca-Cola, introduced with much fanfare, but it was quickly met with consumer backlash. The original Coca-Cola formula, rebranded as “Coca-Cola Classic,” was reintroduced just a few months later. Coca-Cola did not reveal its precise losses from the New Coke blunder, but estimates from The New York Times suggest the company lost around $30 million from unsold inventory, plus $4 million on research and marketing, bringing the total estimated loss to at least $34 million.

Real life totally STUPID story #2:

Bud Light’s parent company, AB InBev, reported a $395 million loss in U.S. revenue between April and June 2023, following the backlash from its partnership with Dylan Mulvaney. The controversy also led to Bud Light losing its position as the best-selling beer in the U.S. for the first time in two decades. 

Soon to come…Real life totally STUPID story # 3:

 

Cracker Barrel, just like AB InBev with Bud Light, has chosen WOKE & DEI over profits and success.

In my opinion, they too will  regret their decision and end up at…
THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL.

 

Pasta had not been invented… It was macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.

Bananas & oranges only appeared at Christmastime.

All chips were plain.

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Chickens didn’t have fingers in those days.

None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

‘Kebab’ was not even a word, never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than gasoline for it they would have become a laughing stock.

The 3 things that we never ever had on/at our table in the Good Old Days…were elbows, hats and cell phones!