• Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer! 

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. 

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 

• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Typo. 

• I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now. 

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 

• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. 

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. 

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. 

• When chemists die, they barium. 

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down. 

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words 

• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. 
  
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 

• Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils? 

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. 

• Broken pencils are pointless. 

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. 

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 

• Velcro: what a rip off! 

• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.