WRITTEN BY: BILL BOWSER

During the course of my career, much of which was managing heavy industrial construction projects, I found my problem solving skills the most useful. It is often unnecessary to fully understand the nature of a problem to help solve it, because problem solving is a process that applies generally to all problems, especially your personal problems, on which I’m going to focus. Good problem solving skills are important throughout your life.

There are some people who constantly complain how other people, or something else that is beyond their control, is causing them problems. While it is often true that our problems are worsened by uncontrollable outside elements, that doesn’t mean that we are powerless to do anything to solve them. It is no excuse for resignation, because you can not expect others to solve your problems for you; you must do it yourself.

What I find most important when dealing with a group that is trying to solve a problem is the recognition that no solution is perfect. Abundant reasons for avoiding any proposed solution can always  be found. There are always trade-offs. But inaction is not acceptable. The best solution is always the one that provides the best results with the fewest disadvantages. With the AI chat bots so easily accessible today, uncovering options to help solve your problems is literally at your finger tips.

Resolving personal conflict is problem solving saturated with emotion. My wife and I developed a system that worked perfectly for us that enabled us to avoid conflict throughout our marriage. Whenever we were discussing an issue, upon which we disagreed it would become apparent that it had greater importance to one us than it did to the other. Obviously the solution was that whoever was most affected by it should make the decision. This worked incredibly well. There was never any drama, no regrettable words spoken, just two people with utmost love and respect for each other traveling life’s path. 

Of course there were a few times when the chosen course did not lead to the desired end, but there was never a “see, I was right” it was always “let me help you pick up the pieces and see how we can fix it”. My wife has been gone for more than 20 years and I miss her still.