Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Will Rogers

A lizard…..

A lizard is walking through the jungle.

As he’s walking, he catches a whiff of marijuana burning. He looks up and sees a monkey smoking a fat blunt in a tree.

“Hey, are you blazing it up there without me?” said the lizard.

“Come on up here and hit it with me, man,” said the monkey.

The lizard and the monkey smoke weed for several hours, and eventually the lizard’s mouth gets dry. He excuses himself, climbs down the tree, and heads for the river to get a drink. As the lizard is drinking, a crocodile pops out of the water.

The croc says “Whoa, man, you looked stoned to the bone. Where can I get the good stuff?”

“My monkey friend in that tree over there can hook you up,” said the lizard.

The crocodile heads over to the tree and says, “Hey! Down here!”

The monkey looks down and says “Whoa, holy crap dude, how much water did you drink?”

Good Stuff

I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear. –Rosa Parks

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. –Confucius

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. –Dalai Lama

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. –Maya Angelou

 

PATRIOT POST MEMES

Photos to lighten your mood…Part Five

Flashbacks…Part Three

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

A strong connection is everything – whether it’s Wi-Fi or relationships.
Anonymous

Bible Verse

Interesting Facts From Nature

Octopi: They have three hearts and blue blood. 

Jellyfish: Some species are immortal and can regenerate their organs. 

Seahorses: The male seahorse gives birth to the young. 

Sea Otters: They hold hands while sleeping to prevent drifting apart. 

Sloths: Their incredibly slow metabolism allows green algae to grow on their fur. 

Penguins: Males give their mates a special rock as a courtship gift. 

Lions: The female lion does about 90% of the hunting for the pride. 

Flamingos: They are born white and turn pink from their diet of brine shrimp and algae. 

Elephants: They cannot jump. 

Polar Bears: Their fur appears white but is transparent, while their skin is black to absorb heat. 

Wood Frogs: These frogs can freeze solid in the winter and then “thaw” and come back to life in the spring. 

Dolphins: They sleep with one eye open, keeping half their brain awake to remain alert. 

Horses: They have the largest eyes of any land animal and can see almost 360 degrees.

Giraffes: They have a surprisingly short sleep duration, sometimes only 30 minutes a day, and can sleep standing up. 

Koalas: Their fingerprints are so similar to human fingerprints that they can be mistaken for them. 

Cows: They form close bonds and can have “best friends”. 

Cheetahs: These cats can reach speeds of up to 120 km/h. 

Kangaroos: They are unable to move backward due to their leg structure. 

Capuchin Monkeys: These monkeys use tools, like rocks, to crack open nuts. 

Honey: The only food that never spoils. 

Pigs: They are incredibly intelligent animals. 

Turtles: Some species, like the freshwater turtle, can live for over 100 years. 

Owls: They can turn their heads 270 degrees to look around. 

Bees: A single bee can visit as many as 5,000 flowers in a day. 

Crocodiles: These reptiles can hold their breath underwater for over an hour.


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Flashbacks…Part Two