Flying was fun in the old (pre-covid) days….Remember the funny airline announcements?

Image result for funny pics for funny airline crew announcements

1. “Today’s flight should take about 3 hours, but luckily I know a shortcut so we might be a little early.”

2. “If you don’t like humor we have exits.”

3. “Sorry about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. It’s not the co-pilot’s fault. It’s the Asphalt.”

4. After a bumpy landing: “That was a rough one. Since you all survived we expect you to keep all those promises that you just made.”

5. “We’ll be dimming the lights to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

6. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

7. “Your menu choices are chicken or pasta. If we’re out of your choice by the time we get to you, don’t worry, they all taste the same.”

8. Pilot asks before take off if this is the first time flying for anyone to press the flight attendant button. When no one pressed the button he said “Good, then I’m the only one.”

9. “When exiting the plane please watch out for the low overhead door. If you forget, please watch your language.”

10. “Please keep your seat belts fastened and enjoy our complimentary turbulence.”

11. “In the unlikely event of a water landing, just think of the incredible story you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren.”

12. “You will find the safety briefing card in your seat pocket. It is beautiful and has lots of nice pictures.”

13. “Cabin crew are coming by hoping you will tell them how good looking they are.”

14. “For those of you traveling with your children – why? And for those of you that are traveling with two of your children, what in the world were you thinking?”

15. “The yellow button is your reading light. Please don’t press the orange button unless you absolutely have to. The orange button is your ejector seat button.”

16. “On an early morning flight I noticed a few ladies who forgot to put on their makeup this morning. I’ll be dimming the lights for your convenience.”

17. “To activate oxygen, simply insert 75 cents for the first minute.”

18. “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

19. “Folks it has been great having you flying with us today. But just like my Dad said to me the day I turned 18: get out.”

20. “Now that we’re here I’ll tell you the same thing my mother told me: Get your bags and get out!”

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Amazing pictures of sights all around the world

CHICAGO FROM AFAR

A DESERT OASIS IN LIBYA

THE ALPINISTS

INSIDE THE OLD METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE

TITANIC’S ENGINES UNDERWATER

SUNRISE OVER LONDON’S TOWER BRIDGE

((((((((((OUR SUN ERUPTS))))))))))

SNOWMOBILING THE NORWAY-SWEDEN BORDER

A TINY HERMIT CRAB CLOSE-UP

THE COCONUT OCTOPUS

A CLOUD ILLUMINATED BY LIGHTNING

A TINY RIVER HOUSE IN SERBIA

A SUBMARINE SURFACES THROUGH ARCTIC ICE

A WALL OF FALL

AN AIRPLANE CROSSES THE MOON

LIONESSES AT THE WATERING HOLE

DEATH BEGETS LIFE

MOUNT FUJI FROM ABOVE

THE VENEZUELAN POODLE MOTH

THE PERSEIDS METEOR SHOWER

AN X-RAY OF A STINGRAY

MOTH TRAILS AT NIGHT

JUST A PINCH

EVOLUTION OF THE NEW YORK SKYLINE

AN ELEPHANT MEETS A SEA LION

AN OLYMPIC FULL MOON (now this was a clever idea!)

BASE JUMPING IN RIO

THE BOMBING OF DRESDEN

WHERE THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA MEETS THE SEA

THE CHICAGO SKYLINE FROM INDIANA

LIVING ON THE EDGE

THE MOLOKINI CRATER IN HAWAII

IF JUPITER WAS THE SAME DISTANCE AS THE MOON

A SEAHORSE INSPECTS A DIVER’S WATCH

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING

MOUNT RAINIER CASTING A SHADOW ON CLOUDS

The cost of beer….

Image result for pic of beer and airplane

A conversation between a man and woman. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply, but then she is speechless after he ask only one simple question. l bet this happens more often than not:

Woman: Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman: How many beers a day?

Man: Usually about three

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!)

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: About 20 years, I suppose

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately  $5400 correct?

Man: Correct

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000 correct?

Man: Correct

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?

Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No.

Man: Where is your airplane?

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Flying high

Image result for pic of a backpack parachute

There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes.

One person said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The second person said that she was too important to die, she had children and a family to take care of, and they depended on her to care for them. So, she took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The third person said that he was too important to die because his family depended on him for survival. He was the head of household and the sole bread winner. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft.

Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One person was a 12 year old boy, and the other was a 65 year old man. The old man said, “Well son, I have lived a good life, and you are too young to die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The boy asked, “Why, Sir?” The old man said, “Well, there is only one parachute left.”

The little lad said, “Sir there are really two parachutes left.” The old gentlemen asked, excitedly, “Yeah? How?” “Well,” replied the boy, “you know that guy who thought he was the smartest and greatest thing that hit the face of the Earth? He grabbed my backpack.”

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TODAY’S MEMES

 

 

 

 

THE SPHINX—POLITICS

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RIP

https://nypost.com/2022/01/21/louie-anderson-emmy-winning-comedian-dead-at-68/

https://nypost.com/2022/01/21/meat-loaf-dead-singer-of-bat-out-of-hell-was-74/

The only thing protected in sanctuary America is Nancy’s Capitol-Washington D.C.  Even dems who disagree with Joe and his Gestapo will be investigated.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2022/01/21/texas-democrat-who-slammed-bidens-immigration-policy-has-home-raided-by-fbi-n2602146

https://townhall.com/columnists/patbuchanan/2022/01/21/by-the-numbers-a-failing-president-n2602150

These bodies should be sent to Nancy and Schumer’s offices.

https://nypost.com/2022/01/20/florida-man-steve-shand-charged-after-four-people-found-frozen-to-death-at-canada-us-border/

Ole Bill and Andy.

https://nypost.com/2022/01/19/prince-andrews-ex-clinton-epstein-were-like-brothers/

What happened to the FBI ?  They are corrupt democrats.

https://nypost.com/2022/01/18/i-watched-the-fbi-become-so-woke-it-cant-call-out-terrorism/

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Prepare for a wonderful birth.

https://www.theonion.com/hospital-unveils-new-delivery-taprooms-for-bonding-with-1848223827

https://thefederalist.com/

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Kamala is a product of California’s radical, liberal, budget busting DEMOCRAT PARTY.  She has always been who she is now.  It isn’t surprising to anyone in politics, but they needed a Black Female.  Hillary is 10 times worse than Kamala.

https://redstate.com/jimthompson/2022/01/14/kamala-harris-the-worst-politician-in-america-n506569

Joe is on duty.

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-personally-confirms-each-government-provided-mask-passes-the-sniff-test

https://redstate.com/

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The Two Faced Editor:  What’s up in Liar-land, LL ?

Same-O-Same-O Cat:  It’s the same BS, but our readers have to be informed.  In the first link, Joe is asking the social and other media to keep censoring/lying about the news.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2022/01/14/biden-calls-for-opposition-to-be-censored-n2601852

Mitch is your basic rich “go with the wind” DC insider.  Several R’s want more commitment to Trump’s America First Policy.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2022/01/12/lindsey-graham-wont-support-mcconnell-leader-unless-prove-relationship-trump/

The debates need reforming.  Is my memory failing, or did Hillary get questions in advance, did moderators keep asking Trump about untrue White supremacy issues, did Joe skip a debate ?  Joe won’t be running in 2024.

https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/republicans-have-had-it-with-the-nonpartisan-debate-commission/

Georgia, USA is doing well.  Make sure you vote for Stacey Abrams, we need Al Sharpton to get a room in the Governor’s mansion.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2022/01/13/kemp-delivers-state-of-state-georgias-unprecedented-economic-success-paves-way-for-1-4-billion-k-12-funding/

Your Democratic station, CNN ( owned by AT&T ) sux.

https://www.breitbart.com/the-media/2022/01/13/nolte-cnn-lost-90-percent-of-its-audience/

This is why Pigleosi, Maxine, Schiff, Nadler, Schumer, Pocahontas, Biden, and the other tax-suckers get elected–dumb voters.

https://tolleystopics.com/2022/01/14/product-warnings/

https://nypost.com/2022/01/15/prosecutcrimefighter-exodus-manhattan-prosecutors-flee-da-office-after-bragg-takes-helmors-leave-manhattan-das-office-after-bragg-comes-in/

Another Democratic Liberal city not enforcing laws for 2 years and wondering why people rob, steal, and kill.  They cause it.

https://www.fox29.com/news/philadelphia-carjackings-what-police-say-you-should-know-amid-spike-in-carjackings

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2022/01/14/carjacking-suspect-in-critical-condition-after-shootout-with-armed-driver/

Men/trans competing against females is a Democrat stupid policy.  Maybe women will wake up and protect their daughters.  Scroll down on the second link.  Olympic qualifying women lose to high-school boys. 

https://townhall.com/columnists/emmetttyrrell/2022/01/13/the-question-of-swimwear-for-the-trans-n2601784

https://boysvswomen.com/#/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/

This is a true story from the 1924 Olympics.

 

This is interesting….

Fascinating Stuff . . .

Railroad Tracks 
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That’s an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that’s the way they built them in England,
and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used
for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So, who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match
for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome,
they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches
is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
In other words, bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and wonder,
‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right.
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough
to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad,
you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger,
but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains
and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know,
is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.

TODAY’S BIBLE VERSE

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Saturn, Tethys, Rings, and Shadows
Image Credit: Cassini Imaging Team, SSI, JPL, ESA, NASA

Explanation: Seen from ice moon Tethys, rings and shadows would display fantastic views of the Saturnian system. Haven’t dropped in on Tethys lately? Then this gorgeous ringscape from the Cassini spacecraft will have to do for now. Caught in sunlight just below and left of picture center in 2005, Tethys itself is about 1,000 kilometers in diameter and orbits not quite five saturn-radii from the center of the gas giant planet. At that distance (around 300,000 kilometers) it is well outside Saturn’s main bright rings, but Tethys is still one of five major moons that find themselves within the boundaries of the faint and tenuous outer E ring. Discovered in the 1980s, two very small moons Telesto and Calypso are locked in stable along Tethys’ orbit. Telesto precedes and Calypso follows Tethys as the trio circles Saturn.

Tomorrow’s picture: witch star?