You can’t blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway. It’s your own asphalt.

I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that’s humerus.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.

Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?

Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, “That lizard is really funny!” The leader replied, “That’s not a lizard. He’s a stand-up chameleon.

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.

Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song … But the chick peas can only hummus one.

Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court… It was a brief case.

How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.

My friend said she wouldn’t eat cow’s tongue because it came out of a cow’s mouth. I gave her an egg.

Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That’s right…Jack and the beans talk.

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.

I was struggling to understand how lightning works … And then it struck me.

Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That’s right. The steaks were pretty high.

I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.

Fun Facts…Music Part 2

May 13, 2026May 12, 2026 tolleystopicsLeave a comment

The first black woman ever to be the cover star of Rolling Stone was Tina Turner.

Freddie Mercury was born in Zanzibar, an island in Tanzania off the east coast of Africa.

Bob Dylan is thought to be the only person in history to have won an Oscar, a Grammy and a Nobel Prize. He was also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

For one week in 1964, the Beatles held all five slots on the Billboard 100.

On the cover of the Beatles’ album, Help, the Fab Four are each making a different semaphore letter. Despite many people presuming they are spelling H-E-L-P, the letters they are actually producing read N-U-J-V.

The Beach Boys were originally called “The Pendletones.”

Liquid Paper was invented by Bette Nesmith Graham, the mother of Michael Nesmith of The Monkees.

The first song David Bowie ever recorded was called “I Never Dreamed,” in 1963. It was long presumed to have been lost, until he discovered it stored in a breadbox when he was moving to a different house in the 1990s.

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

May 13, 2026May 6, 2026 tolleystopicsLeave a comment

Never argue with stupid people.
They will drag you down to their level and
beat you with experience.
Mark Twain

THE SPHINX—AIR FORCE ONE

May 13, 2026May 12, 2026 tolleystopicsLeave a comment

The media swept Jackson’s alleged pedophilia under the rug for years. The story is not for everyone.

https://nypost.com/2026/05/12/us-news/michael-jacksons-secret-family-reveals-disturbing-child-sex-abuse-claims-against-late-pop-star-he-was-a-monster/

*****

See if the IRS owes you a COVID tax refund.

https://nypost.com/2026/05/11/business/irs-may-owe-millions-of-taxpayers-covid-tax-refunds-heres-how-to-check-your-eligibility/

*****

Victory.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/josephchalfant/2026/05/11/the-supreme-court-just-gave-republicans-another-major-win-on-redistricting-n2675907

*****

Trump to suspend the federal gas tax.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/dmitri-bolt/2026/05/11/president-trump-says-he-will-suspend-the-federal-gas-tax-n2675889

*****

Rumors about 2028.

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/desantis-trump-2028/2026/05/09/id/1255750/

*****

Worth a repeat.

https://x.com/LangmanVince/status/1939074185130566023

*****

Either you have ‘Class’ or not.

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2026/05/07/if-you-thought-the-obama-library-was-ugly-hes-doubling-down-on-that-with-what-hes-selling-there-n2202088

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2026/05/10/mark-kelly-remarks-about-depletion-of-weapons-n2202206

*****

It is the same old lies from Obama.

https://pjmedia.com/matt-margolis/2026/05/09/dan-bongino-offers-chilling-warning-to-barack-obama-n4952671

*****

One more off the streets.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/scott-mcclallen/2026/05/07/federal-court-sentences-michigan-man-for-isis-support-bomb-possession-n2675714

*****

Has the grooming company changed their tune on children.

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2026/05/07/disney-does-damage-control-after-several-staffers-arrested-on-cruise-ship-in-massive-child-porn-sting/

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2026/05/07/nolte-still-more-disney-employees-arrested-for-child-porn-on-a-cruise-ship/

Has the company bought rights to Target Dog ?

A good jobs report.

https://pjmedia.com/catherinesalgado/2026/05/09/trump-celebrates-jobs-report-for-mothers-day-n4952681

How a soda changed.

https://nypost.com/2026/05/10/lifestyle/how-bubble-up-lemon-lime-soda-went-from-being-a-top-seller-to-nearly-unfindable/

There are few secrets among politicians, people talk. Katie is a verbal abuser of her staff, and a repulsive person. She is a California Girl.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2026/05/12/katie-porter-knows-whos-leaking-info-about-her-allegedly-abusing-staffers-but-also-not-really-n2675898

*****

The Air Force Editor: What’s up with Air Force One, LL ?

The Fly Me Cat: Here is a little history.

The Presidential hopefuls want Air Force One more than the White House. They get tired of private jets.

Trump’s plans for the Qatari gift-plane.

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/trump-qatar-jet-air-force-one-ethics/2026/05/01/id/1254955/

The lobby of the Trump Library is the final destination.

https://x.com/EricTrump/status/2038773279788331022

One picture is worth………

https://theonion.com/carlos-alcaraz-withdraws-from-french-open-over-career-threatening-haircut/

https://www.washingtontimes.com/

*****

Poor Gavin.

https://babylonbee.com/news/homeless-declare-victory-in-gavin-newsoms-fight-against-homelessness

https://redstate.com/

Bible Verse

May 13, 2026May 13, 2026 tolleystopicsLeave a comment

Share this:

Like this:

You can’t blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway. It’s your own asphalt.

I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that’s humerus.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.

Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?

Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, “That lizard is really funny!” The leader replied, “That’s not a lizard. He’s a stand-up chameleon.

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.

Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song … But the chick peas can only hummus one.

Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court… It was a brief case.

How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.

My friend said she wouldn’t eat cow’s tongue because it came out of a cow’s mouth. I gave her an egg.

Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That’s right…Jack and the beans talk.

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.

I was struggling to understand how lightning works … And then it struck me.

Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That’s right. The steaks were pretty high.

I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.

Share this:

Like this:

The first black woman ever to be the cover star of Rolling Stone was Tina Turner.

Freddie Mercury was born in Zanzibar, an island in Tanzania off the east coast of Africa.

Bob Dylan is thought to be the only person in history to have won an Oscar, a Grammy and a Nobel Prize. He was also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

For one week in 1964, the Beatles held all five slots on the Billboard 100.

On the cover of the Beatles’ album, Help, the Fab Four are each making a different semaphore letter. Despite many people presuming they are spelling H-E-L-P, the letters they are actually producing read N-U-J-V.

The Beach Boys were originally called “The Pendletones.”

Liquid Paper was invented by Bette Nesmith Graham, the mother of Michael Nesmith of The Monkees.

The first song David Bowie ever recorded was called “I Never Dreamed,” in 1963. It was long presumed to have been lost, until he discovered it stored in a breadbox when he was moving to a different house in the 1990s.

Share this:

Like this:

Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Mark Twain

Share this:

Like this:

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Never argue with stupid people.
They will drag you down to their level and
beat you with experience.
Mark Twain