“In my younger days, I would never have believed that I would one day be old and bored enough with life to extend wishes for a Happy Ground Hog Day….yet, here I am.”
Life is about making an impact, not making an income. –Kevin Kruse
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. –Napoleon Hill
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. –Albert Einstein
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. –Robert Frost
I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse. –Florence Nightingale
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.
If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Think of this; Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he was always drunk and in jail!
Today is Ground Hog day, and Super Bowl Sunday.
What media bias ? Trump supporters should get to vote twice, ( that’s sarcasm for our Democratic loyal readers ).
The Editor: Is this about the old TV show with David Carradine as a Shaolin Priest, LL ?
Dragon Cat: No, it’s about the influenza ( flu ) that originated in China.
Coronavirus is not linked to Corona Beer.
Many of these virus diseases are spread thru unsanitary conditions and poor hygiene. I’m astonished that the dems in the HOR haven’t all become ill. They are a nasty bunch. The Senate makes them go thru a delousing tent before entering.
The giant farms that raise animals in filth are a big part of the problem. A chicken shortage is here.
About sixty-thousand ( 60,000 ) Americans are killed each year by the flu and its complications.
I don’t take many things seriously, anymore. It’s like the dems in the HOR, they are entertainers.
TE: Do you have a Super Bowl pick, DC ?
Year Of The Pig Cat: No.