Archive | November 14, 2020

Good for a chuckle!!

Image result for clip art cheerful old people

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.
‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’
‘Sure.’
‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.
‘No, I can remember it.’
‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’
He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’ ‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks.
Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!’
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
‘Where’s my toast?’

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
‘So I hear you’re getting married?’
‘Yep!’
‘Do I know her?’
‘Nope!’
‘This woman, is she good looking?’
‘Not really.’
‘Is she a good cook?’
‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’
‘Does she have lots of money?’
‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’
‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’
‘Because she can still drive!’

A man was telling his neighbour, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbour. ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty.’

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’
Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that.. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’

And One More ….!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’

Now , before you ‘ forget ‘, send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh!!

POST OFFICE…………. PRICELESS

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read :

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope…Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

 

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those thieving bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

 

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THE SPHINX—JEOPARDY

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America voted for it.  Joe said he would do what his advisors said.  The majority wants it.  Start saving necessary products.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/11/11/joe-biden-coronavirus-adviser-urges-national-lockdown-for-4-to-6-weeks/

Science says lock downs don’t work.  The sanctuary states wanted Biden.  There is no money in the kitty,  you fool.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2020/11/13/a-defiant-mississippi-governor-responds-to-biden-coronavirus-task-force-members-advice-n2580026

It was rigged.

https://www.newsmax.com/newsmax-tv/ken-paxton-dominion-voting-systems-texas-attorney-general/2020/11/12/id/996838/

https://www.breitbart.com/2020-election/2020/11/12/project-veritas-pennsylvania-whistleblower-told-to-dump-all-non-biden-mailers-after-nov-9/

https://www.newsmax.com/

https://redstate.com/

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The Dangerous Editor:  Who is in jeopardy, LL ?

Double Jeopardy Cat:  For $1,000 Joe will be gone in a year.  Another topic is all the attention that Alex Trebek’s opening is creating in the media.  I wondered what would replace Trump’s racism articles 24 hours a day.

Biden’s clock starts at 12:00 noon.

Here is a little history.

https://nypost.com/2020/11/10/alex-trebeks-1970s-mustache-and-perm-landed-him-jeopardy-gig/

TDE:  Who are some people mentioned, DJC ?

This is one person mentioned.  He has a few drawbacks, he is too short to see over the podium, viewers need someone they can believe, he would give the questions to democratic contestants.  The worst problem is that he is ugly and repulsive.

https://www.newsmax.com/politics/george-stephanopoulos-alex-trebek-jeopardy-abc/2020/11/10/id/996285/

Here are some other possibilities.

https://www.tvinsider.com/956027/jeopardy-alex-trebek-host-replacement-ken-jennings/

Betty White is out, the MSM who will be running the Biden government wants her for one of the people to pack the Supreme Court.

Qualifications should be a Black, LGBTQIA, ignorant bigot,  stupid racist, whose qualifications are being able to get 200,000 viewers on cable TV.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/cnn-don-lemon-assault-accuser-metoo

https://theintercept.com/2018/04/24/msnbcs-joy-reid-claims-her-website-was-hacked-and-bigoted-anti-lgbt-content-added-a-bizarre-story-liberal-outlets-ignore/

https://www.thedailybeast.com/msnbc-host-joy-reid-under-fire-for-totally-false-election-claims

Anderson Cooper was mentioned, he fits all qualifications except Blackness.  They could have an Albino Jeopardy with Cooper, Bezos from Amazon, and Zuckerberg from Facebook.

Loyal reader MST suggest that the barely used, 30 million, voting ballots with only Biden marked be used to unite the country.  People could write in their replacement for Alex. The return address ( ABC News-Disney ) is still good.   That will surely unite the country.

What a bunch of losers.

Belknap Covered Bridge

WGN – 37-20-11 Belknap Covered Bridge – Built in 1966 in Lane County by Lane County spanning McKenzie River west of Caddis Ln., single span, 120 feet long, Howe trusses

Oregon Bridge #15017. Prior bridge washed out in 1964 flood. Louvered arch windows were added to the south side in 1975. The name Belknap refers to the early settlers along the McKenzie River. R.S. Belknap developed Belknap Springs and his son, J.H. Belknap, was involved in the toll road over the McKenzie Pass in the early 1870s.

PHOTOS BY: BILL BOWSER….FROM CINCINNATI, OHIO
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Astronomy Picture of the Day

Venus, Mercury, and the Waning Moon
Image Credit & Copyright: Kevin Sargozza

Explanation: Yesterday, early morning risers around planet Earth were treated to a waning Moon low in the east as the sky grew bright before dawn. From the Island of Ortigia, Syracuse, Sicily, Italy this simple snapshot found the slender sunlit crescent just before sunrise. Never wandering far from the Sun in Earth’s sky, inner planets Venus and Mercury shared the calm seaside view. Also in the frame, right of the line-up of Luna and planets, is bright star Spica, alpha star of the constellation Virgo and one of the 20 brightest stars in Earth’s night. Tomorrow the Moon will be New. The dark lunar disk means mostly dark nights for planet Earth in the coming week and a good chance to watch the annual Leonid Meteor Shower.

Tomorrow’s picture: edge-on