WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY
You know Lois Lion as the author of the daily edition of The Sphinx on Tolley’s Topics. She is also a world-renowned horse whisperer. She goes out every year to explain the game plan for the annual Kentucky Derby to the horses. The horses usually have no back-talk for Lois Lion. She runs along to Place Her Bets and they finish just as she demands. This year she had to deliver some bad news and they were not happy horses.
She had to tell them that this year there would be “No hats, no people, no Mint Juleps, no fun.”
The horses went berserk. All chimed in like a bunch of angry Mr. Ed’s. “That is a bunch of horse (bleep)! No people in the stands to make noise for us, that sucks! Where are all the pretty women in the pretty hats? The drunk women always give me Mint Juleps after the derby, why should I even try to win? Do you think we care about those damn roses, we want pretty women in pretty hats to bring us Mint Juleps in horse sized Highball Glasses and Silver Julep cups!”
What a day for poor Lois Lion. She promised the horses that she would deliver on all their demands.
She did change the winner from Tiz the Law to Authentic.
Now at least one thing would be AUTHENTIC in the Fastest Two Minutes In Sports, The running of The Kentucky Derby 2020.
Then Lois Lion relaxed with a Mint Julep in a horse sized Highball Glass. Her last comment before she
passed out took a nap was “next year I may be one of the jockeys.”