Capitalism is a wonderful thing. When I get bored, I can always think of a new adventure that will make me millions of dollars. Don’t laugh. Remember…once upon a time, Mattel made the very first Barbie Doll. Barbie was followed by Ken, friends, wardrobes, doll houses, doll house furniture, doll vehicles, etc.
Well, Halloween is sneaking up on us. Some of our readers may remember when I introduced my Democrat Voodoo Dolls. People loved them.
My new capitalist adventure is going to be a Halloween costume of Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. I cannot call him our 46th president since he was selected instead of being elected. He is a PINO (President In Name Only) of the United States. Are you laughing yet? I am so excited. I have already made my first prototype.
PINO Joe will be the first Halloween costume that walks down the street beside you. Yes, you read that correctly. It will be more of a Halloween doll/friend than a costume.
Settle down, I know you are asking yourself…How can he walk down the street when he cannot even climb the stairs of Air Force One without falling three times?
Well, I have already thought about that problem and solved it in my prototype doll. My PINO Joe Halloween doll will be attached to a ROOMBA. You know, the self-propelled robotic vacuum cleaner. You just flick that little switch to ON and you got a new friend, baby.
You will probably want to place your order for the Deluxe Model of my new Doll. It is more expensive, but it actually talks. Settle down already. I realize that PINO Joe cannot talk without stuttering and stammering, but I have also solved that problem. I have installed recording devices/speakers similar to those of the Chatty Cathy dolls of 1960.
Just trust me, I have never lied to you. Your Halloween PINO Joe doll will come with aviator glasses, a face mask, a bicycle, a crack pipe, a stripper, a laptop…oops, never mind, I got him mixed up with my next doll that I still have in my Research & Development area. I am off now to walk with my Halloween PINO Joe doll to my neighbor’s house for his first test run.
Forget it, what a stupid idea!
The Halloween PINO Joe doll ROOMBA’d down the road just fine, he was so smooth. I was a Proud Capitalist for a couple moments.
Then I pressed the speak button. He said, “Treat or Trick and Trick, Trick Treat…I want some of that Xi Jinping candy from the border that looks like little Sweet Tarts. I want my bag filled with Fentanyl.
Then the little out-of-control idiot jumped on my neighbor’s shoulder and started sniffing her hair. When I pressed the remote to stop him, he started walking in circles and shaking hands with the Invisible man.
I brought the Invisible man home with me and left my new PINO Joe Halloween doll walking in circles down the road….oh well, the Easter Bunny will eventually come for him.
Nancy Pelosi met with the Queen of England. She asked her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”
“Well,” said the Queen, “The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
Pelosi frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know if my associates are really intelligent?”
The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy: you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.”
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send Boris Johnson in here, would you?”
Boris Johnson walked into the room and said, “Yes, Your Majesty?”
The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this please, Boris, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for a moment, Boris answered, “That would be me.”
“Yes! very good,” said the Queen.
Pelosi went back home to ask Joe Biden, the same question. “Joe, answer this for me. “Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
“I’m not sure,” said Biden. “Let me get back to you on that one.”
He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, Biden ran into Jim Jordan, while out eating one night. Biden asked, “Jim, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Jim Jordan answered right back, “That’s easy, it’s me!”
Biden smiled , and said, “Thanks!” Then he went back to speak with Pelosi. “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Jim Jordan.”
Pelosi got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face. “No, you idiot! It’s Boris Johnson!”
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, “Is this a union house?”
“No,” she replied, “I’m sorry it isn’t.”
“Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”
“The house gets $60 and the girls get $40,” she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, “Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules.”
The man asked, “And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”
“The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.”
“That’s more like it!” the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blue-eyed blonde, “I’d like her,” he said.
“I’m sure you would, sir,” said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 80 year old woman in the corner, “but Nancy here has 40 years seniority and according to union rules, she’s next.”
Now you know what’s wrong with the seniority system in the House and Senate.
The Gridiron Editor: What is going on with football, LL ?
The Interference Cat: This is to celebrate The University of Georgia’s National Championship from last year. I wouldn’t normally write about dogs but Amigo gave me a mouse farm. This was one of the great home team announcers in college ball.
Herschel Walker was the driving force behind the 1980 National Championship. Vote for him in November for Senator.
Their slobbering, smelly, excuse for a mascot was actually voted the best mascot in America a few years ago.
Here is something about Notre Dame football. Reagan was elected President 42 years ago when Georgia won their last title, before the 2021 title. He was the 40th President.
In some places you still get disciplined for misbehaving.
Every Republican in the country should be running on this–schools and union teachers trying to change the sex of your child in secret, to be a member of the LGBTQIA + culture.
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