8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 – The transgender man..women…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not snow figures decorations.
8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:29 – So I made a black couple.
8:31 – The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become.
One year, a friend bought his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…The next year he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
++++++++++++++++
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope…
Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
+++++++++++++++++++
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said. ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ St. Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’ Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’
The Irishman replied, ‘These are Carol’s.’
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The 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop. As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.
“Mother,” the nuns asked. “Please give us some wisdom before you leave us.”
Mother Superior raised herself in the bed and said: “Don’t sell that cow.”
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A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed, and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.”
He replied, “Well, I’m in the pub next door.”
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A friend told the blond: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”
The blond thought about it, then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
The End Of Year Editor: What is your title about, LL ?
Go Figure Cat: It’s about what happens after the original story or headlines are over. When attorneys who represent clients in court lose their credibility, they turn to politics. These lawyers are now in control of America.
The government ( taxpayers ) have no, none, nyet business funding any form of news. National Public Radio is so biased it is unbearable to people who want news not opinions.
This is how you can tell that the American education system is not working. Children are getting ” SO ” and BLM BS instead of how to think. They should move to New York State, and get elected.
Cities that sponsor professional teams get more money back than they subsidize, unless the MLB All Star game is moved out of your city because of Stacey Abrams and Biden lying about ballot safety.
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