WRITTEN BY: THE GHOST TARSIER
(Our Sinister Minister who does not keep secrets)
DOMINICK, THE PRIEST
PB: I know you, you are not a real priest.
DTP: I know you, you are not a real president. Yet, here we are.
PB: I just came to your confessional booth to hide for a while.
DTP: Who are you hiding from?
PB: obama, he is driving me crazy.
DTP: Since you are already senile, that will be a short drive. How is obama bothering you?
PB: He keeps ordering these new ear pieces for me to try. He is so afraid America is going to discover that he talks to me through those things.
DTP: Tell him to relax, America already knows.
PB: C’mon man, why do you say that?
DTP: They kept you locked in a basement for a year, like a rabid rat, so you could not talk to people. When they let you out on occasion, so people would know you were not dead, they told you to take no questions. They were preserving you in case you were the candidate they had to settle for in the end. You have not mentioned your old buddy, Corn Pop, since they stole the election FOR you. You have not invited anyone to a push-up competition since you became the PINO. Before your fake win, you could not remember which state you were in. You confused your wife with your sister when you introduced them, etc….that is how I know obama is still your BIG BOSS MAN. You are his third term puppet and he pulls your strings.
PB: Help me keep an eye out for obama. He probably followed me here.
DTP: He will not come here. He is afraid his hero Reverend Wright will find out about it.
PB: He did not really care for Reverend Wright, he just did not want America to know he was a Muslim. He declared himself a Christian in 2008.
DTP: That was a timely religious conversion, wouldn’t you say? He starts attending the church of Jeremiah Wright who openly preaches the message “God Damn America.” Then, he practically moves Al Sharpton, a self- appointed reverend, into the Lincoln bedroom. Then, he donates huge sums of money to another self-appointed reverend, Raphael Warnock, running for senator in Georgia, who is now under investigation for election fraud, along with Stacey Abrams.
PB: I guess I will leave now, lean over closer to me, I do have one valid confession I would like to get off my chest.
DTP: I am not getting close to you, you just want to sniff my hair. Get on out of here, you pervert. I am going to finish watching Rosemary’s Baby.