True & Sad MEME Of The Day

Conservative Only MEMES

 

There is nothing like a warning from the Godfather of The Biden Crime Family, an America-Hating POS who put out the Welcome Mat for this chaotic Invasion.
-Sheila Tolley-

Are you a Lexophile?

  

   I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

   Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

   Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

   The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

   To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

   When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

   The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months.

  A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A.

 The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

 A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

 A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

 A will is a dead giveaway.

 Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

 A backward poet writes inverse.

 In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

 A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

 If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

 With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

 When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

 You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

 Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

 He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

 A calendar’s days are numbered.

 A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

 If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

 Acupuncture: a jab well done.

 A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

Written by a man…LOL

More From The Cat Named Smudge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those were the days….

Black and White
(Under age 50? You won’t understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
‘Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.’

 

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers, but I can’t remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE . and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked’s (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can’t recall any injuries, but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option, even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah … and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played ‘king of the hill’ on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn’t sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.  Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn’t act up at the neighbor’s house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall  a friend from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front step, just before he fell off.  Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN’T; SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.

Remember that life’s most simple pleasures are very often the best.

Like A Simple Game of marbles!

Photo. 1940s. Tennessee. 4 Boys Playing Marbles | eBay

THE SPHINX—SPORTS

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Vote Democratic again.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/miacathell/2023/05/10/title-42-explainer-n2623008

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Maybe this will help with understanding the Federal Debt Limit.

https://thefederalist.com/2023/05/10/the-democrats-debt-ceiling-position-makes-zero-sense/

https://nypost.com/2023/05/08/the-constitution-doesnt-let-biden-spend-at-will-compromise-on-the-debt-ceiling-already/

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Budweiser’s other beers are losing market share.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/09/bud-lights-sales-drop-is-accelerating-amid-dylan-mulvaney-fiasco/

Rashida is losing market share.  Where is Fancy Nancy ? Howard Stern is being quoted in the media now.  He is a sleazy-slimy replacement for Nangal.

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2023/05/09/kevin-mccarthy-makes-a-boss-move-against-noted-anti-semite-rashida-tlaib-n743463

T-Mobile is closing their San Franstinko store.

https://redstate.com/benkew/2023/05/09/t-mobile-becomes-latest-retailer-to-close-flagship-store-in-san-francisco-n743026

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If lying is a violation, here are a few Big Time lairs:  Pigleosi, Schiff, Nadler, Waters, Omar, Tlaib, Pressley, in short everyone–Joe hasn’t told the truth since the last century.

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2023/05/10/breaking-new-york-congressman-george-santos-arrested-n743582

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2023/05/10/hold-on-a-second-george-santos-office-had-an-fbi-rat-n2623049

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Republican Politics.

https://www.oann.com/entertainment/desantis-signs-bill-allowing/

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2023/05/07/latest-abc-wapo-poll-is-an-absolute-horror-show-for-joe-biden-leaves-george-stephanopoulos-stunned-n742372

https://www.breitbart.com/the-media/2023/05/07/report-tucker-carlson-gearing-up-torch-fox-news-wants-freedom/

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2023/05/09/watch-nrcc-ad-hits-democrats-for-their-spending-addiction-hurting-america/

We like Tucker.

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2023/05/09/latest-leaked-video-of-tucker-carlson-shows-he-was-right-all-along-n743212

Moving On physically and mentally from liberal BS.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/07/austin-homeless-camp-may-force-property-owner-to-leave-city/

https://nypost.com/2023/05/07/liberal-washington-town-bans-drugs-after-ods-fentanyl-deaths/

https://nypost.com/2023/05/07/californias-most-charming-town-solvang-reluctantly-dragged-into-culture-war-over-lgbtq-pride-flags/

https://nypost.com/2023/05/08/happy-days-star-scott-baio-announces-hes-leaving-california-due-to-homeless-crisis-crime/

Society-Anger Management.  The teen needs some court time.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/07/nikola-jokic-gets-tech-for-shoving-suns-owner-mat-ishbia-in-sideline-tussle/

https://nypost.com/2023/05/08/tennessee-teen-pepper-sprays-teacher-after-he-takes-her-phone/

Art.  A mermaid statue of AOC.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/07/internet-divided-over-curvy-mermaid-statue-in-italy-she-got-a-booty/

This is why some people can’t be helped.  They cause their own problems.

https://redstate.com/alexparker/2023/05/09/city-council-member-urges-that-white-business-owners-be-forced-to-pay-black-and-brown-owned-businesses-n742989

Anything in your home will snitch on you.  You have no privacy.

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2023/05/09/elon-raises-huge-concern-about-whatsapp-after-user-claims-it-was-recording-him-while-asleep-n743240

Tara is still fighting Joey.

https://redstate.com/sister-toldjah/2023/05/09/tara-reade-posts-alarmingly-cryptic-tweet-as-matt-gaetz-turns-up-the-heat-on-joe-biden-n743115

Is this an article or book ?

https://redstate.com/bradslager/2023/05/09/in-praise-of-good-journalism-the-hunt-for-the-missing-jeopardy-champion-n743231

Google needs to be broken up into about 5 companies.  Newsweek will make a buzzard vomit.

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2023/05/10/big-tech-bailout-new-york-times-to-receive-100-million-from-google/

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2023/05/09/nolte-newsweek-columnist-blames-republicans-democrat-run-city-failure/

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The beer wars are back.

https://nypost.com/2023/04/21/over-2k-miller-high-life-cans-destroyed-over-champagne-of-beers-slogan/

He could run the Department Of Send Jobs To China.

https://www.theonion.com/mark-cuban-rejects-shark-tank-pitch-to-make-mavericks-1850358938

https://chiletoday.cl/

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Under the dems any movement is progress.

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2023/04/22/hunter-biden-lawyers-meeting-with-doj-sparks-speculation-n735114

Science crashes into a concrete wall.

https://babylonbee.com/news/buttigieg-calls-on-dot-to-address-inequity-by-using-more-gay-crash-test-dummies

https://redstate.com/

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The Run The Clock Editor:  Are sports still honest, LL ?

Here Is Ten On Dallas Cat:  Not really, men can’t play physical games against women and call it honest, fair, or equal.  I agree with Megyn Kelly.

https://redstate.com/sister-toldjah/2023/04/21/i-am-done-fired-up-megyn-kelly-gives-must-watch-call-to-action-on-trans-rights-debate-n734677

Here are some new rules for college football.

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/36255797/ncaa-approves-rule-change-run-clock-first-downs

California is losing the Oakland Baseball Team.

https://redstate.com/jerrywilson/2023/04/21/it-sure-looks-like-the-oakland-as-are-joining-the-great-california-exodus-n734480

Who needs a football salary.

https://nypost.com/2023/04/21/lions-jameson-williams-four-other-nfl-players-suspended-for-gambling/

Electricity news.

https://www.igs.com/energy-resource-center/blog/3-myths-about-computers-and-electricity

This is an old story that sounds like the Biden Foreign or Domestic policy.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/36247416/minnesota-vikings-nfl-draft-missed-pick-2003

They could use Paul and Paula for names of the dummies, or maybe Joe & Kamala.

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Halley Dust, Mars Dust, and Milky Way
Image Credit & Copyright: Petr Horalek / Institute of Physics in Opava

Explanation: Grains of cosmic dust streaked through night skies in early May. Swept up as planet Earth plowed through the debris streams left behind by periodic Comet Halley, the annual meteor shower is known as the Eta Aquarids. This year, the Eta Aquarids peak was visually hampered by May’s bright Full Moon, though. But early morning hours surrounding last May’s shower of Halley dust were free of moonlight interference. In exposures recorded between April 28 and May 8 in 2022, this composited image shows nearly 90 Eta Aquarid meteors streaking from the shower’s radiant in Aquarius over San Pedro de Atacama, Chile. The central Milky Way arcs above in the southern hemisphere’s predawn skies. The faint band of light rising from the horizon is Zodiacal light, caused by dust scattering sunlight near our Solar System’s ecliptic plane. Along the ecliptic and entrained in the Zodiacal glow are the bright planets Venus, Jupiter, Mars, and Saturn. Of course Mars itself has recently been found to be a likely source of the dust along the ecliptic responsible for creating Zodiacal light.

Tomorrow’s picture: The Crescent Earth

Bible Verse