I bought a new Truck.

Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.

‘Nelson’, the technician said to the radio.

The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’

‘Willie’ he continued, and ‘On The Road Again’ came from the speakers.

Then he said, ‘Ray Charles’, and in an instant ‘Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away so happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, ‘Beethoven’, I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles’, I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Well, yesterday, this woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her. I yelled at her, ‘Damn Witch!’

The radio replied, ‘Hillary, Maxine, or Pelosi?’

 

 

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
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Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
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If you don’t have a sense of humor you probably don’t have any sense at all.
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Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
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A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
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Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
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Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
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Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
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No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
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There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
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There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. for example, it could be the right number.
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No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
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I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
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Be careful about reading the fine print there’s no way you’re going to like it.
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The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
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Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
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Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a VW.
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After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.
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Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
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Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift.

 

 

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before.

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Never become irritable waiting for things to get better. If you’ll be patient, you’ll find that you can wait much faster.

If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.

Things will get better, despite our efforts to improve them.

 

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There is too much news.  The Navy has a drag queen recruiting new sailors.

https://www.newsweek.com/navy-drag-queen-harpy-daniels-digital-ambassador-debate-1798015

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2023/05/03/navy-confirms-using-drag-queen-influencer-as-digital-ambassador-to-attract-recruits/

Anchors Away has been replaced by this catchy tune.

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Atlanta has a mass shooter.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/03/suspected-atlanta-hospital-shooter-deion-patterson-in-custody/

Can you beat this offer Tucker ?

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2023/05/03/patrick-bet-david-offer-to-tucker-n2622754

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The media isn’t anymore shocked at this than a murderer being surprised at conviction.  They know what they have been doing for 8 years.  FJB and the media.

https://redstate.com/joesquire/2023/05/01/mainstream-media-shocked-to-discover-the-most-divisive-group-in-america-is-the-mainstream-media-n739636

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ABC is such a Democrat butt-buddy I’m surprised they didn’t show Pearl Harbor being bombed in 1941.  Broadcasts should be previewed and approved before release.

https://nypost.com/2023/04/30/abc-airs-nyc-footage-with-twin-towers-during-knicks-heat-game/

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All stolen cars not involved in joy-rides are stripped or on a ship to everywhere within 24 hours.  Adams must be getting a commission from Apple.

https://nypost.com/2023/04/30/nyc-to-give-away-airtag-gps-devices-to-help-fight-big-apple-car-thefts/

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J.P. Morgan is probably more poorly run than First Republic.

https://redstate.com/joesquire/2023/05/01/feds-seize-first-republic-bank-in-second-biggest-bank-failure-in-u-s-history-jpmorgan-to-assume-control-n739546

Why not ?

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/larryoconnor/2023/05/01/bidens-backdoor-pardon-for-hunter-n2622637

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2023/05/01/bidens-attack-on-responsible-americans-is-here-n2622659

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Hunter and Joe make the Clintons look respectable.

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2023/05/02/hunter-bidens-eye-opening-excuse-to-pay-less-for-his-child-involves-joe-n740258

Those silly Democrats.

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2023/05/03/liberal-scotus-justice-caught-in-scandal-that-blows-up-recent-left-wing-attacks-n740977

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/spencerbrown/2023/05/02/the-inconvenient-truth-that-torpedoes-dems-scotus-sideshow-n2622717

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This is as bad as King Charles having his shoe laces ironed.

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2023/04/30/chrissy-teigen-slammed-over-pre-whcd-video-showing-her-employees-holding-up-her-dress-train/

Even a KISS band member knows what science is and isn’t.

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2023/05/01/kiss-rocker-paul-stanley-slams-child-sex-reassignment-surgery-sad-and-dangerous-fad/

Speed up the conservative opinions.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2023/05/01/liberal-americas-supreme-court-obsession-is-getting-weird-n2622673

FJB and Budweiser.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/01/bud-light-disables-comments-on-countrified-ad-in-wake-of-dylan-mulvaney-fiasco/

Boston Dynamic’s robo-dogs get a voice.  These robos won’t last a week, before they are robotnapped for big bucks.  If you want Yorkers to interact with them, they need to look like Norwegian Wharf Rats.  

https://nypost.com/2023/05/01/chatgpt-wired-into-boston-dynamics-robodogs-game-changer/

Sometimes you are at the wrong place at the wrong time.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/01/mom-stung-75-times-after-bees-swarm-family-during-photoshoot/

https://nypost.com/2023/05/02/florida-equestrian-hannah-serfass-fatally-crushed-by-horse/

As the world turns.

https://www.newsmax.com/newsmax-tv/grenell-carlson-fox/2023/04/29/id/1118000/

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Today is Cinco de Mayo day.  Here is the history.  In America it started as a day for bartenders to sell more liquor.

https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/cinco-de-mayo

This is much like your car doors or anything else, when the battery is dead.

https://babylonbee.com/news/major-security-breakthrough-in-star-wars-universe-with-invention-of-door-that-does-not-open-if-you-just-shoot-the-control-panel

https://www.kentucky.com/

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The Kentucky Derby is tomorrow ( Saturday ).  I hope the horses stay sober this year.  Maybe they have recovered from Cinco de Mayo.

This is a good Democrat.

https://babylonbee.com/news/montana-lawmaker-nails-audition-for-bud-light-spokesperson

https://www.newsmax.com/

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The Season Editor:  I thought the Master’s was Spring, LL ?

That Was Our April Spring Cat:  For May we have another event, the Kentucky Derby.  Here is some history.

https://www.kentuckyderby.com/history

Here are some interesting things.

https://www.courier-journal.com/entertainment/

Derby call to post.

The 2023 horses.  Horses may be scratched until post-time.

https://www.kentuckyderby.com/horses

Post positions.

https://sports.nbcsports.com/2023/05/01/kentucky-derby-2023-post-positions-odds/

Many fans pick their horse on the Jockey’s Silks–color of uniform.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1446088062/2023-ky-derby-large-prints-jockey-silks?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_e-art_and_collectibles-prints-digital_prints&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAjwxr2iBhBJEiwAdXECw7jvsNO-80hWoxmyDBVtV2x-kiwZpS78qfV46yDf5UCB5EoIdIk4hhoCVBUQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_304499915_22746212675_78727443155_pla-106555091555_c__1446088062_12768591&utm_custom2=304499915&gclid=CjwKCAjwxr2iBhBJEiwAdXECw7jvsNO-80hWoxmyDBVtV2x-kiwZpS78qfV46yDf5UCB5EoIdIk4hhoCVBUQAvD_BwE

This is Kentucky’s state song.  It was written when slavery was still legal.  That is sad and horrific, but history is like that.

https://songofamerica.net/song/my-old-kentucky-home/

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Enter your guess for the winner under Leave A Comment.  If you win you get a week in San Frandirty-o.

https://babylonbee.com/news/newlyweds-in-san-francisco-looking-for-nice-one-bedroom-zero-bath-starter-tent