There is so much gloom and doom all around.
Not enough smiles and too many frowns.
We all could use a feel-good story. 
Enjoy and give Eclipse the glory.
-Sheila Tolley-

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?

Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”.

Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

If you replace “W” with”T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.

Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we’ll just call it “2’s Day” (It does fall on a Tuesday)

100 years ago a Twenty Dollar bill and a Twenty Dollar gold piece were interchangeable. Either one would buy a new suit, new shoes and a night on the town.

The Twenty Dollar gold piece will still do that!

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Our Democrat Minority Leaders have more hats than the Queen.

What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. –Bob Dylan

I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. –Benjamin Franklin

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it. –Chinese Proverb

To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
Anonymous

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word “mongooses.” Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: “I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. “Everyone knows no fully stocked zoo should be without a mongoose,” he typed. “Please send us two of them.”

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