The moral of the story….

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

“Janie, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

”Good Heavens, said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”

“Stay away from Mommy when she’s been drinking.”

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Good Stuff

 Believe you can and you’re halfway there.
–Theodore Roosevelt

Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
–George Addair

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
-Plato

Teach thy tongue to say, “I do not know,” and thou shalt progress.
–Maimonides

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.
– Ancient Indian Proverb

 

Daily Wisecracks & Wisdom

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze
pilots wore helmets.
Al McGuire

Respect your elders, little sassy bank clerk

An old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.

The old lady wanted to know why… The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.

The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?

The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. “Well please let me have $3000 now.” The teller kindly handed her $3000 while being very friendly with a smile to her.

The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.

The moral of this story is….

Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

Bible Verse