A Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.
The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
TEXAS
A Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.
The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not .
Once in a while we just have to stand back in awe of our government.
The Food Stamp Program (SNAP), supported by our tax money and administered by the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing the greatest number of free meals and food stamps ever – to 42 million people.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Dept. of Interior, asks us to “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” Their stated reason for the policy is because “the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”
This is a very sad story about a bear… Everybody should heed the warnings not to feed wildlife because they become dependent and don’t forage for themselves any longer. It is such a tragedy to see what has been done to our country’s wildlife. The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect U.S. wildlife.
Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party. They have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a black bear in Montana turned Democrat. He’s nicknamed Bearack Obearma. It is believed that he has become a campground organizer.
“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” Cool Hand Luke, 1967
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” Apocalypse Now, 1979
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story, 1970 Fun fact: Two years later Ryan O’Neal will hear this line again in the film What’s Up Doc when Barbara Streisand says it to his character and respond, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“The stuff that dreams are made of.” The Maltese Falcon, 1941
“E.T. phone home.” E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, 1982
