A brand new, ambitious CEO is officially taking over a manufacturing company. He is determined to rid the company of all lazy workers and completely optimize productivity.
On his very first day, he decides to walk the factory floor unannounced, wearing his expensive suit and a stern look. As he walks around, he notices a guy leaning casually against a wall near the loading dock, hands in his pockets, lazily chewing some gum and doing absolutely nothing.
The CEO sees this as the perfect opportunity to show everyone what happens to lazy employees. He marches right up to the guy, chin held high, while all the other factory workers stop what they are doing to watch.
The CEO glares at the man and asks loudly, “How much money do you make a week?”
The guy looks a bit surprised, blinks, and says, “Uh, about four hundred bucks. Why?”
The CEO whips out his leather wallet, grabs four crisp one-hundred-dollar bills, and shoves them into the guy’s hand. “Here is four hundred dollars. Now pack up your things, get out of here, and never come back!”
The guy shrugs, pockets the cash, walks out the door, and disappears.
The CEO turns to the rest of the factory floor, puffs out his chest, and says proudly, “Now, can anyone here tell me what department that lazy fellow worked in?”
A voice from the back of the room pipes up: “He doesn’t work here. He was just delivering our lunch.”
The Three Wishes
A husband and wife, both celebrating their 60th birthdays, are walking along a beautiful, deserted beach. Suddenly, the wife spots a strange, tarnished metal object buried in the sand. She digs it out, rubs the dirt off, and a magical genie instantly appears in a cloud of purple smoke.
The genie bows and says, “Thank you for freeing me! Because there are two of you, I will grant each of you exactly one wish.”
The wife goes first. She smiles warmly and says, “We have worked so hard our entire lives, but we never had the money to see the world. I wish for a romantic, all-expenses-paid luxury cruise around the globe with my wonderful husband.”
Poof! In a flash of light, two first-class cruise tickets and a bag of spending money appear right in her hands. She is absolutely thrilled and hugs her husband tight.
The genie then turns to the husband. “And what is your wish, sir?”
The husband thinks about it for a long, quiet moment. He looks at his wife, looks down at the sand, and says under his breath, “Well, this is an incredibly rare opportunity. I love my wife, but I really wish I was married to a woman exactly thirty years younger than me.”
