Archive | November 7, 2019

The Perfect Man

Image result for the perfect man

 

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.

Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

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The Lion’s Cage

Image result for pic of a lion in a cage

A little girl was leaning into a lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.

A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.  Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed.  I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, tell me about yourself.”

The biker replies “I’m a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted for Trump”.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions. On the front page he reads:

** U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH. **

And THAT pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days.

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THE SPHINX—SLIMY POLITICS

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https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2019/11/06/trumps-campaign-manager-sets-the-record-straight-about-what-really-happened-in-kentucky-gov-race-n2555997

https://www.breitbart.com/

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The Editor:  What’s new in the fetid world of politics, LL ?

Muckraker Cat:  There are all kinds of sleaze.  The first one is this.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-advertising/democratic-groups-launch-75-million-digital-ad-effort-to-fight-trump-idUSKBN1XE200

Look at this.

https://www.breitbart.com/local/2019/11/05/florida-officials-deny-library-funding-digital-subscription-fake-news-new-york-times/

Trump opts out of climate scam.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/timothymeads/2019/11/04/breaking-trump-admin-officially-withdraws-from-paris-climate-agreement-n2555880

Look at these figures.

https://www.redstate.com/elizabeth-vaughn/2019/11/04/number-democrats-showing-trump-rallies-stunning/

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/11/04/florida-huge-majority-of-hispanics-support-desantis-mandatory-e-verify/

The R’s need to pick up nineteen ( 19 ) House seats.  I guess Katie Hill’s still counts as one.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/11/04/exclusive-pence-chief-marc-short-democrat-impeachment-agenda-handing-house-back-to-gop-in-2020/

Halloween is cat time.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/rogue-black-cat-at-metlife-stadium-steals-show-during-monday-night-football/