“Relax little Bubba…you will be fine. It is just a little rope for you to use in case you need to pull down your garage door. Now take a few deep breaths….
doesn’t that feel better? See, you can breathe. I knew you could do it. Was 15 FBI agents sufficient, in your opinion, to check out that Garage Door Pull Rope? If not, we will send the other 34,985 agents from the FBI. After all, we have no other problems in our country that rise to such a level of importance as that of your Garage Door Pull Rope. We have also removed that nasty old Confederate Flag that bothers you. Is there anything else we can do for you? If not…
START YOUR ENGINE…don’t let the noise startle you.”