The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down . Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.

Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well.

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room .

Appropriate analogy. “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying:

“The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now .”

Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & asking for money.

The spread of COVID-19 is based on 2 things:

How dense the population is.

How dense the population is.

 

WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

I am proud to say that I was brought up in a family who had morals, manners and respect for others.

It has taken me seventy years to shed those positive attributes. Actually, my positivity did not Jump ‘Sheila Ship’ until the recent election conversion took place. Like a Thief In The Night…Republicans were robbed…but maybe not….It Ain’T Over Until Donald Trump Tells Me It Is Over.

What I wish to point out today are obvious weird phenomenon that will take your mind off this PENDING ELECTION!

 

Really, I am so serious…look closely at Mark Zuckerberg. Don’t you want to draw some bangs and a mustache on him? Nothing will convince me that he is not a reject child of the royal family. I guess the sun does not shine in England. He is whiter than milk-of-magnesia. The least the billionaire could do is help his brother, Prince Andrew, who was stupid enough to hang around with Bill Clinton as they molested children.

You have seen, Twitterman….Jack Dorsey, the freak on the right before, allow me to refresh your memory. I know you remember the famous GEICO lizard commercials. I always loved that little lizard. Then GEICO decided they should expand their base. You know, like “The New Coke” fiasco. Jack Dorsy auditioned for the “It is so easy a caveman can do it” segments.

The rest is history, people.

Hunter Biden stumbled onto these two at a strip bar in Arkansas and said…

“Hi there, I am the son of ‘The Big Guy’….Follow me, I want to introduce you to this Chinese fellow. He will make your fortune cookie be forever sweet. Just a small piece of advice, I learned the hard way…..Use a condom with these strippers.”

 

This recording was made on February 29, 1956, i.e. 64 years ago.  Listen to the last 40 seconds of the recording for a prophetic statement.

 

 

The Joker said: “Don’t tie my legacy to this ‘Whore Daughter of a Slave Owner. I deserve better than that!”

 

We asked the Martians, they said: “Hell no, that ugly thing does not belong to us….but that picture on the right is a quite handsome fellow.”

 

The donkey said, “Get away from me, you idiot…they rented you to mate with that dog in the pasture behind us.”

“Look at that folks….Mr. Gates Of Hell, himself. I wonder if he knows where he can shove that vaccine, or does he need me to send him that information?”
-Sheila Tolley-