Archive | July 16, 2021

Two States


The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.

The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.

PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.


The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not .


Slang of the Sixties…..Remember

Image result for slang of the 60's

  1. Ace – Cool [Thanks to Debby Rubin, Milwaukee, WI]
  2. Afro – black hairstyle – [Thanks to Ed from Switzerland]
  3. A Gas – Having a lot of fun.
  4. All Show and No Go – Pretty car. Nice wheels and so forth. Looks good put has no go power.
  5. Ape: Used with verbs gone or went. (i.e. “When I came home an hour late my parents went ape.)
  6. BA – Could mean Bare All or Bare Ass.
  7. Bad – Awesome
  8. Bad Ass – Tough guy
  9. Bag – Meant to steal. Who bagged my wallet? Also “what’s your bag?”, which meant “What’s your problem?”
  10. Ball – To Party as in Little Richard’s song “Good Golly Miss Molly, you sure like to ball.” Also meant to have intercourse.
  11. Beat Feet – Leave the area quickly.
  12. Bird – middle finger or aircraft
  13. Birth Control Seats – Referred to cars with bucket seats
  14. Bitchin’ – Good, great, or awesome
  15. Blast – Had a great time like “I had a blast at the dance.”
  16. Blasted – Very drunk. [Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  17. Blew the doors off-  easily beat the other car in a drag race [Thanks to Carolyn Evans of Mayfield, Kentucky]
  18. Blitzed – Drunk
  19. Bogart – Not to share marijuana- “Don’t Bogart that joint my friend!” [Thanks to Joel Jerauld La Mesa, CA]
  20. Book – Leave the scene
  21. Bookin’ – Going real fast
  22. Boss – Cool or fantastic – The new album I just bought is boss!
  23. Bread – Money
  24. Bread ‘n Butter – when two folks were walkin ‘n down the street and were seperated by a pole, tree, parkin meter, etc. [Thanks to Thumpa of Sarasota, Florida]
  25. Brew – Beer
  26. Brody or Brody Out – To skid half a circle with your brakes locked up.
  27. Bug Out – Leave the premises
  28. Bum a Smoke – Borrow a cigarette from another person [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio]
  29. Bummed Out – Depressed
  30. Burn Rubber – Squeal out with your tires spinning and leaving rubber on the asphalt.
  31. Carded – Checked by the police for I.D. (usually associated with drinking alcohol.) [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  32. Candyass – A Wimp or uncool thing or person.
  33. Cat– Guy
  34. Catch some Z’s – Go to sleep [Thanks to Gloria Damrod of Sebring, Ohio]
  35. Certified – absolutely a dork  [Thanks to Deedee of Michigan]
  36. Cherry – Pristine or mint condition. That car is cherry!
  37. Chester the Molester – Pervert [Thanks to Karen Carmack of Independence MO]
  38. Chick – girl or woman
  39. Chicken (To Play) – Two cars drive head on towards each other and the first to pull away is a coward.
  40. Chinese Firedrill –  A Car is stopped at a red light and all occupants of the car get out of the car and run around it and get back in the car while holding up traffic.
  41. Choners – Boxer shorts worn by surfers instead of swimming trunks. [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  42. Church Key – Before pop top cans, there were openers that were designed to puncture the beer can to drink from it.
  43. Chrome Dome – Bald Man [thanks to Gloria Damrod of Sebring, Ohio]
  44. Clean – Exceptional looking i.e. That’s a clean looking Chevy [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio]
  45. Cloud 9 – really happy [Thanks to Dennis Irvin SE Pennsyvania]
  46. Cool – Nice
  47. Cool Head – Nice guy
  48. Cool Pipes – Mellow sounding exhaust system [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  49. Cop a Feel – Touching a girl’s no touch zone pretending it was accidental.
  50. Cotties – Unkind remark, As in “Stay away she’s got cooties” (bugs) [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  51. Crash – go to bed / sleep [thanks to Gregg Stotesbery Tecumseh, MO]
  52. Cruising – Driving up and down the strip, street or town looking for members of the opposite sex.
  53. Cutout – leave the scene or area (also see Split) [Thanks to Slolne from NY]
  54. D.A. – Guy hair style. Combed like a duck’s ass [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  55. Decked Out – All Dressed Up
  56. Dibs – Used with the word got. “I got dibs on that seat.” Meaning you own it.
  57. Dig – Do you understand?
  58. Ditz – An idiot
  59. Don’t Flip Your Wig – In other words don’t go ape.
  60. Don’t Have A Cow – (See above)
  61. Don’t Sweat It – Don’t let it bother you.
  62. Dork – Weird person [Thanks to Deedee of Michigan]
  63. Drag – Race for a short distance. Also means dull. Also, a puff from a cigarette.
  64. Drop a Dime – use the pay phone [thanks to Gloria Damrod of Sebring, Ohio]
  65. Dude – A geek
  66. Fab – Fantastic
  67. Fag – A cigarette [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio)
  68. Far-out – awesome [thanks to Gregg Stotesbery Tecumseh, MO] Also see outta sight
  69. Fine as Wine – Good-looking – as The guy or girl is “fine as wine” [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio]
  70. Fink – Tattletale
  71. Five Finger Discount – Anything acquired by theft
  72. Flake – A useless person
  73. Flick – movie [Thanks to Dennis Irwin of SE Pennsylvania]
  74. Flip Flops – Thongs that you wore on your feet
  75. Flipping The Bird –  Middle finger gesture. [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  76. Floor Box – floor mounted transmission shifter [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  77. Flower Child – A Hippie
  78. Foam Domes – padded bras [thanks to Gloria Damrod of Sebring, Ohio]
  79. Four on the Floor – See Floor Box [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  80. Fox – An outstanding looking chick – also Foxy Lady (also see “Stone Fox”)
  81. Freakin’ Out – getting excited or a panic attack [thanks to Gloria Damrod of Sebring, Ohio]
  82. Frosted – angry [thanks to Dennis Irwin of SE Pennsylania]
  83. Fuzz – The Police
  84. Give me Some Sugar – Give me a kiss – [thanks to
  85. Go All The Way – Have Sex
  86. Going Steady – Dating only one person
  87. Groovy – Nice or neat marvelous also Goovin’
  88. Glasspacks – Mufflers lined with fiberglass to muffle the sound. The shorter the muffler the louder the sound.
  89. Grease Slapper – oil burning car or truck – [thanks to Paul Kelly of Minnesota] 
  90. Gum Ball Machine – the old fashion lights on a police cruiser [thanks to Gloria Damron of Sebring, Ohio]
  91. Hacked or Hacked Off – Mad or teed off.
  92. Hairy – Out of control
  93. Hang Loose – Take it easy
  94. Hauls Ass – A car really moves. “Tom’s Chevy sure hauls ass.”
  95. Head – someone who used drugs [thanks to Phillip Millenbah]
  96. Heavy –  deep, needing a lot of thought and contemplation. [thanks to Ed Hodgkins of Greensboro, NC]
  97. Hickey – See Love Bite
  98. Hip – Very Cool
  99. Hodad – a non-surfer, just hangs around the beach
  100. Hopped up – Souped up like a car
  101. Horn – Telephone [thanks to Dennis Irvin of SE Pennsylvania]
  102. Hunk – What a girl calls a good looking guy
  103. Kissup – Teacher’s Pet or person that will do anything to please another person in authority.
  104. Kleenex Cleavage – A stuffed bra.[Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  105.  Kook – Amateur surfer or anyone who couldn’t perform well. [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  106. L7 – square, loser not with it [thanks to Jim O’Brien, Gillette, NJ]
  107. Later – Goodbye
  108. Lay A Patch – Burn rubber with car wheels as you leave
  109. Lay It On Me – Tell me or speak your piece
  110. Let’s hat up” – generally used in the military. Since you had to wear a hat while in uniform while outside so when leaving a building you would say “lets hat up.” [Thanks to T. Wertz from Salt Lake City for sending that one in. I remember that expression well.]
  111. Lid –approximately 1oz. of marijuana also could mean a hat
  112. Loaded – Intoxicated or drunk
  113. Love Bite – Also known as a hickey – Red mark on a person made by suction of a kiss by lips and tongue. [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio)
  114. Love-In – A peaceful public gathering focused on meditation, Love,music,sex and/or psychedelic drugs [Thanks to Joel Jerauld La Mesa, CA]
  115. Luggage – Heavy burden as in “That’s some luggage your are carring. Bags under the eyes from lack of sleep [Thanks to  
  116. Make Out – Kissing
  117. Mary Jane – Marijuana [Thanks to Mary Blosser, Kansas]
  118. Meanwhile Back At The Ranch – It was used to get the storyteller back on track to the story he was telling. In other words, get to the point. It was meant to keep it short. Phrase came from serial westerns.
  119. Midnight Auto Supply – Auto parts stolen
  120. Mill. Engine – As in, “What kind of mill you running in that thing?” [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  121. Moo Juice – milk [thanks to Gloria Damrod of Sebring, Ohio]
  122. Moon – To drop your pants and show your bare butt
  123. Mosquito Fogger – car burning oil [thanks to Carol of Sanford Manitoba]
  124. Neato – Sharp
  125. Nooner – Sex in the afternoon [Thanks to Karen Carmack of Independence MO]
  126. Old Lady or Old Man – Referred to Mom and Dad [Now a days may refer to wife of husband]
  127. One Finger Salute  –  Middle finger gesture. [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC] 
  128. On the Rag – in a foul mood [thanks to Greg Stotesberry, Tecumseh Mo]
  129. Open Pipes – Loud car without mufflers. “Hey man, sounds like you’re running open pipes” [Thanks to Glen Teason from Texas]
  130. Outta Sight or Out of Sight – awesome [Thanks to Johnny Clavin from New Orleans] Also see Far Out
  131. Pad – place you live [Thanks to Susan Schmitt from Rock Hall, Maryland]
  132. Padiddle – A car with only one headlight working. [thanks to Gloria Damrod from Sebring, Ohio] Also see below.
  133. Padink – A car with only one headlight working. [Thanks to Carol Creeden, Indiana]
  134. Panties in a Twist – Don’t get upset [Thanks to 
  135. Passion Pit – Drive-in Movie
  136. Pedal Pushers – knee high pants worn by girls [thanks to Carol Ann-Cella-Kirner West Caldwell, NJ]
  137. Peel Out – Burn or leave rubber with your car
  138. Peepers – Eye Glasses – [Thanks to Dennis Irvin of SE Pennsylvania]
  139. Pig – Cop or a Promiscuous Girl
  140. Pig Out – Overeat
  141. Pink Slip – car title or firing or laid off notice from a job [Thanks to Susan Schmitt from Rock Hall, Maryland]
  142. Pipe down – be quiet [thanks to Dennis Irvin SE Pennsylania]
  143. Pits, the  worst, nasty, bad, awful, meaningless (i.e. “this place is the pits”) [Thanks to Thumpa Clift, Sarasota, Florida]’
  144. Pot – Marijuana
  145. Pound  – To beat up somebody i.e. “I’m gonna pound you.” [Thanks to Jan Johnston of Plymouth, Michigan for this one.]
  146. Queer – Something to be considered dorky or dumb, as in: Those shoes are so queer! Also, a derogatory slang word for a homosexual person. [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio)
  147. Quickie – quick sex [Thanks to Karen Carmack of Independence MO]
  148.  Rake – To move the suspension high up on the back of a car. “His car is really raked!” [Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  149. Rap – to talk [thanks to Mary Klett from Florida for this one]
  150. Ratfink – informer [thanks to Mark Hassard of Canada]
  151. Rave On – Please keep it going – [Thanks to Andrea Fox from North Carolina]
  152. Retard – A really socially inept, dorky person (insensitive word to use today) [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Columbus, Ohio]
  153. Ride – car, truck, or motorcycle [thanks to Greg Stotesberry, Tecumseh Mo]
  154. Right On –  exactly or I second that. [Thanks to Nina Gilberti from Philadelphia]
  155. Score – Going all the way with a girl
  156. Shades – Sunglasses
  157. Sharp – Real Good Looking [Thanks to Leslie Hardman, Orient, Ohio]
  158. Shine me on – when someone was ignoring or trying not to notice your presence.  For instance: Why were you shining me on yesterday? [Thanks to Laura Nestor of California]
  159. Shotgun – Passenger seat in the front seat of a car next to the door. The place of honor. You had to call out “shotgun” first to win the honor. Once you vacate the car the honor is once again up for grabs.
  160. Skag – An ugly girl
  161. Skank – See Skag
  162. (What’s the) Scanoose? –  What’s up? What’s the story? [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  163. Skirt – A girl
  164. Skuzz – Low down, disgusting person also used as Skuzz bucket which could mean an ugly car as well.
  165. Slam Book – a pass around book filled with questions to answer on your fellow classmates. [Thanks to Jan Johnston of Plymouth, Michigan]
  166. Slug Bug/Safety Pin – If you see someone with a Volkswagon beetle you yell out Slug Bug. But if the person you intend to hit yells Safety pin, you can’t hit them. [Lindalee Stuckey, Illinois]
  167. Slut – very promiscuous girl
  168. Split – leave the scene or area (Also see Cutout) [Thanks to Slolne from NY]
  169. Solid – I got it or I’m with you [Thanks to Nina Gilberti from Philadelphia]
  170. Square – Somebody not cool
  171. Stacked – A girl well endowed or built
  172. Stick BangSkinny girl[Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  173. Sticks  – rural area [thanks to Dennis Irwin of SE Pennsylvania]
  174. Stoned – High on pot [thanks to Gregg Stotesbery Tecumseh, MO]
  175. Stone Fox – Extremely beautiful girl [thanks to Cindy from South Carolina]
  176. Stood up – No show on a date
  177. Stuck Up – Conceited
  178. Submarine Races – Parking next to a water shore to wait for the submarine races to which of course was only an excuse to park and make out. For your information there were no such thing as a submarine race.
  179. Swapping Spit – French Kissing to the maximum
  180. Sweat Hog – Fat Chick or Fat Guy
  181. Tank – large car – [thanks to Dennis Irvin SE Pennsylvania]
  182. Teeny Bopper – Thought of as a boring teenager or very young teenager [thanks to Phillip Millenbah]
  183. The Bird – The Middle Finger
  184. Threads  – clothes [thanks to Mary Klett from Florida for this one]
  185. Toke – taking a puff on a joint [thanks to Gregg Stotesbery Tecumseh, MO]
  186. Tough or Tuff – Great looking or cherry “She sure is a tough chick”
  187. Toys in the attic or she’s got toys  a young woman too immature or naive for her age [thanks to Ed Robinson of Denver, CO]
  188. Trippin’ – a high unusual experience like high on drugs
  189. Twitchin – Like Bitchin and means the same thing. [thanks to Gregg Stotesbery Tecumseh, MO]
  190. Uptight –  Being tense or nervous, almost paranoid. [thanks to Michael Chauss, Northern California] 
  191. Wedgie – When somebody pulls your underwear up from the back and ends in the crack. Some of today’s underwear are made for that purpose; they call them thongs.
  192. Weed – marijuana or cigarette [thanks to Daniela from El Paso, TX]
  193. Wheelie – Wheel stand with a car or motorcycle. [Thanks to Allen Rizzi Etowah, NC]
  194. Wheels – car – [thanks to Dennis Irwin SE Pennsylvania]
  195. Wiz, Take a – Urinate
  196. Woody – An erection
  197. Zits – Pimples
  198. Zoned Out –  someone staring off in space, deep in thought, as if they were in the Twilight Zone [ thanks to Paul Whitecotton, Palm Springs, CA]

21 lessons learned by women who have little boys!

Image result for mixing clorox and brake fluid

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant..

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words ‘uh oh’, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even  though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject ‘PB & J’ sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. ) Fire departments have a 5-10 minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids…

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.




What–your BLM/Antifa/Chinese buddies weren’t watching ?  Take the teams to China, along with the NBA.


This is a sad story.  I guess the moral is BLM destroys Abraham Lincoln’s Memorials and God destroys George Floyd’s.

This is a real sad story, which was avoidable.

Tracey Abrams doesn’t do well.

An unbiased MSM would have reported this a year ago.


The Dems couldn’t sell all the body parts to research companies.

A good decision.


Give Joe Pepitone his bat back, or 1 million dollars.

Subjects for the Smithsonian.


CRT is even better than Common Core.

What sewage does Gagafornia release every day, 5 miles from the beach ?

Joe is taking a nap.


The Scum Whisperer Editor:  Is this about government figures, LL ?

I Need A Vacation Cat:  It sure is, the storm and Champlain Towers crash couldn’t keep politics off the front page for long.

I have already covered the Hunter & Joe Biden scam about his paintings selling for $500,000.  As I said last month, it’s a scam to get both some clean-money for influence selling by Ole Joe.  A new tidbit has emerged that Dr. Jill was good friends with the first wife of Robert Durst, an accused killer.  It’s complicated.



The second crime is Pigleosi and her husband.  I hope she departs before Dianne and ole Maxine.  Satan’s wife will have a task keeping her #1 position.

Another item is an indictment of Capitalism.  It might not be so evil but Bezos has shown to be a tyrant who censors people he disagrees with and buys elections with his big bucks.  Now that I think about it–he is no worse than the corrupt feds.

TSWE:  Is it true that you have a surprise, INAVC ?

I sure do.  This is a collage/composite of The Democratic Party from about 1930.  You can see how the dems abused Blacks, children, Poor Whites, women, the disabled and any other person or thing that got in their racist way.

The Babylon Bee needs to be played on CNN and MSNBC on a loop forever.