A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?”

Professor: “Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a professor, would I?”

Student: “OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me
the correct answer, I will accept my marks as they are. If you
can’t give me the correct answer, however, you’ll have to give me an “A”.

Professor: “Hmmmm, alright. So what’s the question?”

Student: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and
neither logical nor legal?

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can’t crack the answer.
Finally he gives up and changes the student’s failing mark
into an “A” as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all
afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. So finally he calls in
a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really
tough question to answer: “What is legal but not logical,
logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?

To the professor’s surprise (and embarrassment), all the students
immediately raise their hands.

“All right” says the professor and asks his favorite student to answer
“It’s quite easy, sir” says the student “You see, you are 75 years old
and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not
logical.

Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal.
And your wife’s lover failed his exam but you’ve just given him
an “A”, which is neither legal, nor logical.”

*
*

After a long day I stopped at a local watering hole and had a few libations. I was thinking about the events of the day and decided that I’m going to try to be more understanding, tolerant and exhibit more empathy and compassion for my fellow human beings.

While sitting there a young woman came into the bar.  She was crying and obviously distraught. I asked her if she was alright and if there was anything I could do for her.

She calmed down a little and while fighting back tears she told me that her cat died and that she wished she could have another one just like it.

 

So I asked her . . . “Why  would you want another dead cat?”

*
*

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cab driver explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.

The Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that thing up in two weeks!”

Next they passed the House of Parliament – started in 1544 and completed in 1618.

“Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!”

As they passed Westminster Abbey the cab driver was silent.

“Whoah! What’s that over there?” asked the Texan.

The driver replied, “I don’t know, it wasn’t there yesterday.”

*
*

A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slow. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

“What’s going on?” she yells out the window.

“Cow on the track!” replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”

*
*