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Mathematics:

This comes  from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70  yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable  mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out  Loud.

This is a strictly …..  mathematical  viewpoint… and it goes like  this:

What Makes  100%?

What does it mean  to give MORE than 100%?

Ever  wonder about those people who say they are giving  more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings  where someone wants you to give over  100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What  makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little  mathematical formula that might help you answer  these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J  K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is  represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: 

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =  98%

And 

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =  96% 

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =  100% 

And, 

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =  103% 

AND, look how far ass  kissing  will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7  = 118% 

So, one can conclude  with mathematical certainty, that while  Hard  work  and  Knowledge will get you close, and  Attitude  will get you there. Its  the  Bullshit  and  Ass  Kissing that will put you over the  top. 

Now you  know why Politicians are where they  are!

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 When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big breasts.

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 When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big breasts, but there was no passion, I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.

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 In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.  Everything was an emergency.  She was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide.  I decided I needed a girl with stability.

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 When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring.  She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.  Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

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 When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her.  She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.  She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.  She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.  I decided to find a  girl with some real ambition.

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 When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, I married her.  She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

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  I’m older and wiser now, I’m looking for a girl with big breasts.