Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meets the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama, I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Your Loving Son, Anthony
A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear Son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now. Your Loving Mama
I am sorry I have not been very responsive lately. I have been somewhat under the weather. My doctors have diagnosed me as having an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic WhiteHouse Fatigue, PIST-AWF (Pronounced pissed-off). PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that has become widespread and highly contagious.
Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing PIST-AWF as a new disease. It has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a person’s entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects including; embarrassment for your country, depression, anxiety as to when it will come to an end, wondering how much more damage he can do, and how long it will take to repair the damage, once a new person takes over the presidency.
Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Taliban terrorists.
Uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the CNN coverage lies.
Stomach cramps from swallowing the fact that some people voted for Biden/Harris.
Vomiting from viewing terrorists murdering innocent people routinely on the nightly news.
Bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a so-called legitimate news show host.
Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself. If you have these symptoms and consider yourself PIST-AWF, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in 2022.
GOD SAVE AMERICA FROM DEMOCRATS.
He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool; and he that dares not reason is a slave. -William Drummond-
I have repeated this Biden Shi* so much that my readers are tired of the stuff. One more thing on the subject, one of the few things that will get Americans to really march in the streets is no electricity for WIFI devices. Smart phones are the only thing missing from this old clip.
Watch the news carefully, this applies to everything.
Explanation: Not the Hubble Space Telescope’s latest view of a distant galactic nebula, this illuminated cloud of gas and dust dazzled early morning spacecoast skygazers on August 29. The snapshot was taken at 3:17am from Space View Park in Titusville, Florida. That’s about 3 minutes after the launch of a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket on the CRS-23 mission to resupply the International Space Station. It captures drifting plumes and exhaust from the separated first and second stage of the rocket rising through still dark skies. The lower bright dot is the second stage continuing on to low Earth orbit. The upper one is the rocket’s first stage performing a boostback burn. Of course the first stage booster returned to make the first landing on the latest autonomous drone ship to arrive in the Atlantic, A Short Fall of Gravitas.
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The Instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial – it strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surfaces, like a grass path.
Gentlemen, remember, you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
“Yes?” said the Instructor.
“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag?