I am confident this is what happened:
The Puppet Master invited his little Dummy to his estate at Martha’s Vineyard and said: “Okay Joe, you need to watch this speech and prepare to do the total opposite of everything he says in the video.”
His little Dummy replied, “Yes sir, Mr. Puppet Master.”
Then the Puppet Master said: “Michelle, please have your servant bring Joe a glass of Elderly Tonic with a splash of Vodka.”
-Sheila Tolley-
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Julie Andrews Turning 79 – this is hysterical!
To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’ from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’.
Here are the lyrics she used: (Sing It!)
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things, And then I don’t feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short-shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had, And then I don’t feel so bad.
“The Left started having their meltdown even before Part One was aired. They are FREAKING OUT now. They are accusing Tucker of re-writing history because he is bringing the truth to Americans.”
-Sheila Tolley-
The strangest thing happened to me this morning. It was before daylight. I was sound asleep. I was awakened by a bumbling, clanking noise. I could not decide which direction it was coming from. At first it seemed to be at my back door. When I headed in that direction, it shifted to the front door. I am not kidding here…then it appeared to be coming from the top of my house. The strange bumbling, clanking noise was coming from everywhere.
Then, there was a louder bumble, clank, followed by silence. The silence was more scary than the noise.
I peeked out my window. OMG! What is that on my porch covered in blood?
I cracked my door open slightly, just enough to peek out.
My friend Karma scared the hell out of me when she raised her head and said:
“Damn, Sheila…you are a sound sleeper aren’t you?”
I said, “I am sorry Karma, come in here so we can get all that blood off you and call an ambulance.”
She replied, “Karma don’t bleed, crazy lady….this is red paint and I am exhausted. I have been painting Virginia RED. That is a big state, even when I am using my big brush.”
I offered my friend some coffee which she politely refused. She said, “This is my busy season and I have many missions to complete.”
I walked my friend to her Karma-mobile and peeked inside. I asked, “What are you going to do with all that red paint?” She waved bye. I heard her exclaim as she drove out of sight:
As I waved bye to my friend…A mighty banner unfurled from her Karma-mobile, It was so huge it barely cleared the power lines. It read:
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