Animals Rule

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Dead Duck

Image result for cartoon pic of dead duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet… “How can you be so sure?” she protested.. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman… The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill.”$1,500!” she cried, “$1,500 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $1,500.”

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Those Darn Little Minions

Image result for despicablememinions.org
Image result for despicablememinions.org

Image result for despicablememinions.org
Image result for despicablememinions.org

I hope this is a free-range chicken…..

I LOVE THIS….send it to everyone….

 

funny positive quotes for today Awesome Pin by Salmathul on Funny stuff Pinterest

Oh Yeah…..I have a closet full of them………..

THE SPHINX—BREAKING NEWS

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You can party 5 days earlier.

https://nypost.com/2021/12/27/cdc-recommends-shorter-covid-isolation-quarantine-for-all/

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The dems want to squash the California Solar Industry.

https://hotair.com/john-s-2/2021/12/18/california-plans-to-kill-the-residential-solar-industry-n436450?cx_testId=1&cx_testVariant=cx_1&cx_artPos=0#cxrecs_s

Manchin the magnificient.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2021/12/22/report-joe-manchins-fundraising-surged-260k-while-opposing-bidens-agenda/

Some predictions for 2022.

https://nypost.com/2021/12/18/predicting-2022-trends-robot-waiters-rubber-shoes-and-7-more/

https://www.nationalreview.com/

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Spider-Man gets a good review.

https://redstate.com/brandon_morse/2021/12/20/spider-man-no-way-home-going-gangbusters-at-the-box-office-proving-non-woke-movies-are-what-we-want-n494383

https://redstate.com/wag/2019/12/16/professor-ka-blooey-explains-greta-nicholas-n122959

https://www.breitbart.com/

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The End Of Year Editor:  What is breaking, LL ?

What A Story Cat:  We learned that the dems are going to run Jimmy Caarter in 2024.  He still has four years left.  Here are some old videos of his very successful Presidency.

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/jimmy-carter-on-inflation-cold-open/3007609

https://nsjonline.com/article/2021/07/hill-inflation-is-our-friend/

https://www.trendsmap.com/twitter/tweet/1460070685615792129

TEOYE:  Will that get the Republicans motivated, WASC ?

It sure will.  He is bringing this Seventies crime fighting trio back to settle the uneasy Americans that are afraid to come out from their barricades to get their 10 th COVID vaxx and booster.

TEOYE:  Was that a mine they were in, WASC ?

It sure was, they were chasing Americans that tried to steal coal from a closed mine.  Millions have frozen to death.

We realize it’s too late for most of these items, maybe the ships will be unloaded by next Christmas.

https://babylonbee.com/video/136

https://nypost.com/2021/12/18/candy-cane-shortage-caused-by-covid-and-supply-chain-issues/

These guys should be in Congress, and let HOR members make windmills.

TODAY’S MEMES

Campaigning vs. Voting 

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really? I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven…

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time   and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell..

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says,

“Yesterday we were campaigning,

…..Today you voted!”

 

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TODAY’S BIBLE VERSE