I have a bird feeder in my yard that I fill and maintain all year. I also have a bird bath. I enjoy watching the birds. That being said, I had to google “ornithologist” to be sure I spelled it correctly. So, for sure…I am no specialist in birds. I know cats are their primary natural enemy and that about sums up my bird knowledge.
BUT, I am sure that everything seems to be political nowadays and Cowbirds are Democrats.
These birds are infamous for laying their eggs in other birds’ nests. The female cowbird notes when a potential host bird lays its eggs, and when the nest is left momentarily unattended, the cowbird lays its own egg in it.
The female cowbird may continue to observe this nest after laying eggs. Some bird species (most likely Republicans) have evolved the ability to detect such parasitic eggs, and may reject them by pushing them out of their nests. But, the female cowbird has been observed attacking and destroying the remaining eggs of such birds. As a consequence, this dissuades further removals.
These are true facts about Cowbirds. It does not take a vivid imagination to visualize Democrats wearing a brown hat and black feathered frocks. I can just see them now, can’t you? Looting, destroying American values, laying their Illegal eggs across America and TWEETING their constant lies.
The next thing these sorry, thieving cowbirds will demand is that we…..
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2020 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know shit about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”
“Now give me back my dog.”
*
AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS AND THEY ARE SITTING ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE.
A little girl was leaning into a lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.
A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, tell me about yourself.”
The biker replies “I’m a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted twice for Trump.”
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions. On the front page he reads:
** U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH. **
And THAT pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days.
Tulsi would be a good candidate if she would get off the electronic border wall idea. Once a person is here you can’t send many back without a court decision. Look at the world situation–the invasion needs a physical wall.
The Sand And Surf Editor: Could you really write all day about the Californians, LL ?
The Slave Cat: I sure could, but I would have to exclude about 6 other equally commie states. There is no systemic racism in America. This column is read in every country on Earth. I have asked for 3 years for someone to send me an example. No one has. To make it worse, California NEVER was a slave state.
The nearest I could find is that this school is in Washington State. Their bumper stickers say ” Making 6 year olds queer since 2020. ” That sure beats ” my son is an honor student. “
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