So I was having lunch with Bobby Fischer, the former world chess champion, and the table had a checkered tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass the salt!
“Great Photography or Impressive Image-Editing…who cares?
Beautiful results, either way.”
This is the ASININE plan of our Democrat ABSOLUTE Lunatics.
What about this ?
This was reported months ago. Pigwoman and Bowser wanted the riot to happen, to blame Trump.
We went through this in Vietnam, American 18 year old draftees could die for their country, but not drink alcohol. The dems never change. FJB and the Democrats.
Pick your favorite HOR member or Senator.
DeSantis or Trump will make a good President.
In Texas, parents sue the state to stop an investigation into them giving their children puberty-blocking drugs. This is child abuse. You can’t even give prisoners chemical castration drugs in prisons. The LGBTQAI + want your children. I will continue to group teachers as one group until I see some protesting against their unions concerning sexualizing children.
I want Republicans to do the same thing to Democrats. Merrick Garland is a POS.
New Zealand wants to tax cow, sheep, and Kiwi flatulence-farts for you democrats and Oregon residents.
This is standard operating procedure ( SOP ), they use it to cover up things for the rich or politicians. The feds use national security to cover their mistakes.
In the NFL you can be Woke or broke-er, or be gone.
These cases should be at the Supremes in 30 days, not 15 months.
The Babylon Bee isn’t fooling around.
The biggest lesson is shut up when your are on the internet.
The Ancient Editor: How old is ancient, LL ?
The Wise Cat: The Sphinx uses about 2,000 years. This definitely qualifies.
This is an ancient practice. The problem with it is, you shouldn’t have sex with someone who reports to you in a work environment. Grooming is a nice sounding word that was first used on 5 year old children by their abusers.
This would have been a big hit in ancient times—like Chick-fil-A.
This is old history, about 20 years.
How do you make holy water? You take some regular water & boil the hell out of it.
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favourite kind of music” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn’t find any.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
Is it ignorance or apathy that’s destroying the world today? I don’t know and don’t really care.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.
The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”
Need an ark? I Noah guy.
I used to be indecisive; now I’m not so sure.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Arriving home, a husband was met by his sobbing wife and she tearfully explained, “The pharmacist insulted me this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”
The husband drove down to confront the pharmacist to demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist said “Now, just a minute… hear my side of it.”
“This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late.
Without breakfast I hurried out to the car, to realize I’d locked the house with house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.
Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. About three streets from the store, I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I started waiting on these people, All the time the damn phone never stopped ringing.
Then I had to break open a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to give change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the money and the phone was still ringing.
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bottles of expensive perfumes on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me, Sir, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!! ”
A man goes to get his check and when he opens it he discovers that his employer has overpaid him by $200.
He decides not to tell anybody and keeps quiet.
At the end of the following month when he opens the check, he sees that he’s been underpaid by $200.
Fuming, he goes to have it out with his employer. “Sir, I think you’ve made a mistake on my check.”
“And how do you figure that?” his employer asks.
“It seems I’ve been underpaid by $200.”
“No disrespect Sir, but I want my money.”
“Last month I overpaid you by $200 and you didn’t complain so why now?”
“Well Sir, thing is I don’t mind if you make a mistake once…. but if it becomes a habit I have to say something.”