The Irish are always the first ones to come to the aid of their fellow man. . Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: . “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don’t know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.” . When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our 10 hour flight. . Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: “If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available.”
An Irish daughter had not been home for over ten years: Upon her return, her father yelled at her, “Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?”
The girl, crying, replied. (Sniff, sniff) “Dad, I was too embarrassed, I became a prostitute!”
Get out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family, so yer are.”
“OK, Daddy, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur coat, a title deed to a eight bedroom mansion plus a $5 million check. For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club.
“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” Says Daddy.
Girl, crying again says. (Sniff, sniff) “A prostitute Daddy!”
“Oh Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death girl. I thought ye said a PROTESTANT.