Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive

ON MY QUOTEBOX…..Do the math


” Six hundred and fifty three, primarily old and sick, people have died from Coronavirus in the U.S. since March 5.  A baby is born every 8 seconds in the U.S.”

-Sheila Tolley-

 

Horses Asses

( I could have titled this Horses Patoots or Horses Buttocks…..but you would not have clicked on it….so just enjoy!)

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?”

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said: “Well yeah, if that’s what they are — I never heard of circle flies.”

So the farmer says, “Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

The trooper says, “Oh,” and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, “Hey … wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?”

The farmer says, “Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass.”

The trooper says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says,

“Hard to fool them circle flies though.”

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Bored? Got cabin fever?

Just CLICK this energetic link……

 

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=https%3a%2f%2fwww.youtube.com%2fwatch%3fv%3dF9WxQDnFpWA&&view=detail&mid=67034295929AC96FE80967034295929AC96FE809&rvsmid=3FFFB61C035360DC597D3FFFB61C035360DC597D&FORM=VDQVAP

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The Debutante Ball

Image result for The Debutante Ball clip art

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week’s shore leave.

The first evening, the ship’s Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

“Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter’s Debutante Ball.

I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance.”

“They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation.

They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies.

One last point: “No Jews please.”

Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:

“Madam, thank you for your invitation.

In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers.”

“One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.”

“The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern university in Chicago, with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering.
His Masters Degree and PhD in Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate.”

“The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.”

“Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship’s doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of
Georgia and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina .

We are very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda .”

Upon receiving this letter, Melinda’s mother was quite excited and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure.

Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and the other women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda’s mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four very
handsome, smiling Black officers.

Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, “There must be some mistake.”

“No, Madam,” said the first officer.

“Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.”

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THE SPHINX—-LOOKOUT

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https://dailycaller.com/2020/03/21/fda-approves-cepheid-coronavirus-test-45-minutes/

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/bethbaumann/2020/03/22/fema-adminstrator-businesses-have-stepped-up-to-fight-the-wuhan-coronavirus-with-n2565451

https://www.oann.com/supporters-say-they-trust-president-trumps-response-to-coronavirus-pandemic/

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/03/22/who-covers-for-china-amid-virus-outbreak-not-contagious-among-humans/

https://townhall.com/

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The Editor:  Is this about Lookout Mountain, LL ?

https://www.lookoutmountain.com/

See Seven States Cat:  No, but that is a good idea.  See your local sights instead of any Disney property.  Look out for this.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8135093/Huge-chunk-Yellowstone-National-Park-size-Chicago-breathing-out.html

https://www.vox.com/2014/9/5/6108169/yellowstone-supervolcano-eruption

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfIBVlCo2NI

This was a great explosion.

https://www.britannica.com/place/Krakatoa

This is an old eruption.

https://www.history.com/topics/ancient-history/pompeii

https://historydaily.org/photos-of-pompeii

TE:  The big eruptions sure do look dangerous, SSSC.

They are.  If the Yellowstone Caldera blew the FBI & CIA might detect it, unless they were busy forging evidence.

TE:  If you can’t find hand sanitizers, and at least a 70 percent alcohol content by volume is needed to kill the contagions will two ( 2 ) shots of forty ( 40 ) percent vodka by volume work ?

Vodka Cat:  Two of those shots wouldn’t work.  Wash your hands often, and stay away from crowds.  Don’t waste the vodka.

https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a29091466/white-russian-cocktail-recipe/

https://www.kahlua.com/us/kahlua-news/how-we-make-kahlua/

ON BILL’S QUOTEBOX….those greedy libs

“Various studies have revealed that conservative voters are much better informed than the liberal voters. Therein lies the problem. Libs expect their desires to be satisfied, regardless of how much it might cost someone else.”

-Bill Bowser-