TALKING WITH: Kamala harris

WRITTEN BY: THE GHOST TARSIER
(after all, everyone talks to their bartender)


JOE, THE BARTENDER

 

KH: Good evening, I assume I am welcome at your MAGA bar.

JTB: You betcha, sweetcakes..on Casual Friday, we let anything in.

(Thunderous Bar Room Laughter)

KH: So your Friday’s are different?

JTB: Only because the bartenders can start drinking at 8:00 am, so we tend to say whatever we want to say. You know the old saying, “A drunken mouth speaks the sober mind.” So Belly-On-Up to the bar..KA-MA-LA, but you can’t do that with those big old size 13 Converse tennis shoes, huh?

(Thunderous Bar Room Laughter)

JTB: What can I get for you VPINO Harris?

KH: I am the Vice-President. I demand some respect!

JTB: I didn’t say our Friday’s were stupid, I said they were casual. Do you want a drink or not?

KH: I only stopped in because I saw the huge banner outside that said you were unveiling a new wine glass made for Speaker Pelosi.

(Thunderous Bar Room Laughter)

JTB: Almost perfect timing on your part, VPINO. We committed reserves of our new glass, in advance to our Golden Members, and we can hardly keep enough stock on hand for the unveiling. You sure drink fast, VPINO Harris, will you be having another bottle of Mad Dog 20/20? If so, I must send my associate over to the Seven-Eleven again, before they close.

KH: Yeah, set me up, Joe. What time is the unveiling?

JTB: Very soon, perhaps you can answer a question for our group, while you sit in your drunken stupor waiting on the Seven-Eleven delivery?

KH: Sure.

JTB: How did you end up being the VPINO? The whole world knows you were not  PINO Biden’s choice.

KH: I have never liked Biden and he has never liked me. You remember how I confronted him in the debate.

JTB: Oh yeah….about busing, you was “that little girl”…boo-hoo, cry me a river. So why did a man who you never liked, pick a woman who he has never liked to be his VPINO?

KH: I am not answering that question, I am not that drunk. Where are your restrooms?

JTB: Down the hall to the right. It says LADIES on the door……but use it anyway.

(Thunderous Bar Room Laughter)

JBT: Be careful not to stagger and fall.

BARTENDER #2: Are you kidding Joe, when those size 13 converses hit the floor, it would take six of us to push her over even when she is drunk!

(Thunderous Bar Room Laughter)

JTB: Glad you have returned, VPINO  it is time for the unveiling. Our New Wine Glass, dedicated to your Speaker is about to be introduced.

JTB: Look at that! The big RED curtain is dropping and there it is…..the new wine glass honoring your party’s Big Mouth of the House. Isn’t the logo on the glass beautifully etched?

PELOSI LOSES AGAIN

Image result for MAGA HAT

TRUMP 2…PELOSI O

 

KH: But the glass is empty?

JTB: Exactly, VPINO, just like the evidence files in those two fake impeachment trials. But look again, it is not completely empty, we replaced the typical little umbrella with a little mask made of Kente Cloth. It also comes in this beautiful Mahogany  Gift Box which is a replica of the famous MAGA hat.

KH: Can I have one?

JTB: No, of coarse not.

KH: Can I buy one?

JTB: No, these will become very valuable collector’s items. We only have this one left and we will present it to President Donald Trump at his inauguration in 2024.

KH: Good night, I am leaving this horrible bar.

JTB: Do you wish to take the rest of your Mad Dog 20/20 with you?

PLEASE don’t forget your shoes. Someone will steal them and sell them as kayaks on EBAY.

Bye now, VPINO.

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