Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida.

They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach to play golf.

.

At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts, and the legs …”

“OK.”

.

Ten years later at age 40 they meet and play again.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.

“Why?”

“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”

“OK.”

.

Ten years later at age 50 they meet and play again. “Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.”

“OK.”

.

At age 60 they meet and play again.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“Wings are half price”

“OK”

.

At age 70 they meet and play again. “Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”

“OK.”

.

At age 80 they meet and play again. “Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“We’ve never been there before.”

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf:

So, he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone.

After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed. “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed, and said. “No, I guess not.”

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished.

He looked at the Lord and asked. “Why did you let him do that?”

The Lord smiled and replied. “Who’s he going to tell?”

*

 

 

“I checked Kelly Blue Book for my car value today, and they asked if the tank was full or empty.”
-Sheila Tolley-

Billy was having trouble in school. His teacher constantly yelled at him; “You’re driving me crazy, Billy! Can’t you learn anything?” Billy’s mother met with his teacher at Fall conferences. The teacher told her Billy was a disaster, getting the lowest marks of any of her students and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant little boy in all of her teaching career.

Billy’s mom, shocked at this feedback, withdrew her son immediately and moved from Detroit to Cleveland.

It was 25 years later that the teacher was diagnosed with a severe cardiac disease. Her doctors advised open heart surgery and that only one surgeon in the Cleveland Clinic could perform the procedure. The teacher decided to have the procedure, which turned out to be remarkably successful, at the Cleveland Clinic.

In the recovery room, she saw the young doctor who headed her surgical team, smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him. Instead, her face suddenly turned blue as she tried to speak and then she quickly died. The doctor was shocked, wondering what went suddenly wrong.

When the doctor turned to leave the room, he saw that Billy, the janitor at the Cleveland Clinic, had unplugged the life-support equipment to plug in his vacuum cleaner.


(Statistics indicate that if you thought Billy had become a heart surgeon there is a good chance you voted for Joe Biden.)

 

*

Definitely not on my bucket list!