Archive | September 1, 2020

No One Rained On This Parade

This past weekend was quite an eventful time for Hank Ashmore aka The Deplorable Infidel. Hank, along with his brother Len and cousin John participated in a boat parade. This was not JUST a boat parade. This was a Boat Parade for President Donald Trump.

The Georgia Department of Natural Resources estimates roughly 1,500 boats filled Clarks Hill Lake, rallying in support of President Trump.

The boat parade started at noon Saturday and ended around 1:30 p.m. Boats spanned over nearly every corner of the lake, and there wasn’t a shortage of participates on the sidelines, either.

Spectators lined the banks and watched from the picnic areas.

At least two small planes joined the parade from the skies. Spectators could purchase flags, T-shirts and more from a pop-up shop at a gas station near the lake.

 

Hank, Len and John as they prepare to leave the marina.

The sign on the back of John’s boat reads: YOU CANT STOP STUPID, BUT YOU CAN VOTE IT OUT. Sen. John Kennedy (R-La)

PLEASE VOTE ON NOVEMBER 3! Let’s Vote out all Democrats who are running for any office.

The theme for the parade was”FOUR MORE YEARS”

 

ON MY SOAPBOX…Praise the Lord


WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

Do you remember when people in church were addressed with the prefixes of Sister and Brother? The preacher would make announcements such as: “We are glad to have Brother Clyde and Sister Sara safely back from their vacation to Rock City.” Or “Brother Lemmie will lead us in prayer.” Or “Brother Eugene, will you please pass the offering plate?”

Many people could play the piano in the days of churches past. They were happy to volunteer their time and freely share their musical talent. No air conditioners muffled the music as the congregation stood to sing about going to The Sweet Bye And Bye where they would Gather At The River. In the Summer, the church doors were open wide so a little air could circulate. People  could easily hear the singing about The Rock of Ages. It was very clear that our Christians cherished The Old Rugged Cross and would one day trade their earthly trophies for a crown.

Do you remember when preachers had real jobs? Remember, they preached because they loved the Lord and wanted to spread his word. Their reward for preaching was a church house in which to live, rent free, called a parsonage.

Take a guess at what the average salary is today for preachers. The average salary is $52,000 with the high side being $87,000. Hold on one more minute. Many preachers also get a bonus  averaging $4,700.

I do not like this new world and I do not like these new preachers. What do they do to get the bonus? Do they put the souls they save in a jar and turn them in each year? More souls, bigger bonus?

It appears to me that dragging $87,000 plus a bonus will be just as tough as dragging that proverbial camel through the eye of a needle.

I will get emails from people who will tell me that “Times Change.” My reply: The Bible doesn’t.

What is your preacher’s real job?

Jesus was a carpenter.


Dealing with the Squirrels

 

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.  After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

 

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.  The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.  The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

 

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures.  So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.  Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

 

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning.  They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

 

But the Catholic church came up with a more very creative strategy!  They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church  Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

 

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue.  They took the first squirrel and circumcised him.  They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

 

Squirrel+Drinking+Coke

THE SPHINX—REAL ESTATE AND GOLF

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Trump could always use this.  Remember Wikipedia is not always correct.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insurrection_Act_of_1807

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CHECK THESE FIGURES OUT.  LESS THAN 10,000 PEOPLE DIED FROM JUST THE WUHAN FLU.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/bronsonstocking/2020/08/30/heres-the-shockingly-small-number-of-people-who-died-from-just-the-coronavirus-n2575306

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The USPS uses the same pay scale as Congress.

https://justthenews.com/accountability/watchdogs/audit-exposes-postal-services-overtime-racket-democrats-seek-bailout

Here is a Tom Cotton ad.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/08/30/exclusive-tom-cotton-scorches-biden-wisconsin-minnesota-ads-mob-coming-your-home/

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2020/08/31/leo-terrell-on-violent-protesters-joe-biden-has-made-a-deal-with-this-extremist-group-n2575347

https://www.breitbart.com/

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Landlubber Editor:  Are these houses a deal, LL ?

As Is Cat:  They sure are.  You can’t beat free.  I might show this more than Clinton’s 26 trips on Epstein’s plane.  For our new loyal readers this is Pigleosi’s nephew.

https://www.oann.com/newsoms-new-3-7m-mansion-gifted-to-the-governor-under-questionable-circumstances/

This would be a nice day trip.

https://nypost.com/2020/08/01/island-off-cape-cod-open-for-first-time-in-300-years/

Obama’s bonuses keep rolling on.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/hawaii-beach-property-obama-coastal-protection-laws

This is the one  where Obama and his entire gang need to be.

https://nypost.com/2020/08/17/this-historic-missouri-home-comes-with-its-own-prison/

You can rent Taylor Swift’s former tour bus.

https://nypost.com/2020/08/24/you-can-rent-taylor-swifts-former-tour-bus-for-2k-per-night/

Get everyone you know to register and vote for Trump.  Keep this house for him and us.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/the-white-house/

We use to show the LPGA golfers on Jerry Falwell Jr.’s channel, but they had technical difficulties this week.  We can’t let our sponsors down.  Paige is playing tennis.

http://topbet.eu/news/top-10-hottest-female-golfers-of-all-time.html

https://nypost.com/2020/08/28/the-only-problem-with-paige-spiranacs-new-sports-experiment/

Watch your local forecast.

https://nypost.com/2020/08/29/staid-bbc-tweets-out-storm-penis-weather-forecast/

The IRS Audit……….


If you’ve ever owned your own business, been an entrepreneur, or wondered what it’s like doing so, this is as close to reality as it gets. 

mage

 The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his Deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.
 
IRS  AUDITOR: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”.
 
Boat  Owner: “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board.  Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally”.
 
IRS AUDITOR:   “That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one”.
   
Boat Owner:   “That would be me. What would you like to know?”


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Astronomy Picture of the Day

Salt Water Remnants on Ceres
Video Credit: Dawn Mission, NASA, JPL-Caltech, UCLA, MPS/DLR/IDA

Explanation: Does Ceres have underground pockets of water? Ceres, the largest asteroid in the asteroid belt, was thought to be composed of rock and ice. At the same time, Ceres was known to have unusual bright spots on its surface. These bright spots were clearly imaged during Dawn’s exciting approach in 2015. Analyses of Dawn images and spectra indicated that the bright spots arise from the residue of highly-reflective salt water that used to exist on Ceres’ surface but evaporated. Recent analysis indicates that some of this water may have originated from deep inside Ceres, indicating Ceres to be a kindred spirit with several Solar System moons, also thought to harbor deep water pockets. The featured video shows in false-color pink the bright evaporated brine named Cerealia Facula in Occator Crater. In 2018, the mission-successful but fuel-depleted Dawn spacecraft was placed in a distant parking orbit, keeping it away from the Ceres’ surface for at least 20 years to avoid interfering with any life that might there exist.

Tomorrow’s picture: bonus moons

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