Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”
Satan replies, “Hey things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”
Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”
God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”
Mama pig said, don’t end up in Green Eggs and ham.
Here is my favorite version of chinny, chin, chin.
We normally use Jack to show why more than one gun is needed, or to show the best movie screams. We recommend at least three guns. Jack would make a great Border Ranger. The illegals now wear tee shirts asking Hiden Biden to let me in.
Free Joe Biden ! Free Joe Biden ! Joe has taken a political uniting slogan, probably from the same MENSA member who thought up Hillary’s DEPLORABLES statement. Joe calls people freed from ineffective face masks and able to attend church Neanderthals. Free Doctor Jill !
This is believable and will make you smile. In case you are having a rough day, here’s a stress management technique that has been recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.
Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
Picture yourself with both your hands in the cool running water.
Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
No one knows your secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the World.
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is so clear you can make out the face of the Democrat you are holding underwater.
There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other… except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.
For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.
“When we were married,” she said, ” my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.
“Sweetheart,” he said… “that explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?”
Oh,” she said, ” that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.”
The Marula tree grows in South Africa. South African’s also call it, the Elephant Tree or Marriage Tree. The fruit from the Marula tree taste like a caramel flavored alcohol that the wild animals love to eat.
You can buy distilled Marula Tree liqueur (17% alcohol) from a liquor store if they carry that brand.
“South Africa may need an Animal version of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
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