WRITTEN BY: LOIS LION
AUTHOR OF THE SPHINX
I apologize to all my loyal readers of Tolley’s Topics. I guess Sheila has been Missing In Action for a spell. I allowed her to have Thursday evening off to have something that you Humans call Reverse Shoulder Replacement. Then I found out she has not been back to work for 6 days. But, have no fear. I put my best Private Investigator (me) on her trail. I found her.
She was at home, in her bed. She was surrounded by an ocean of assorted pillows. She looked sad. She gave me no welcoming smile. She was wearing some ridiculous apparatus called a Reverse Shoulder Sling With attached Waist Belt.
I let her know under no uncertain terms that I did not appreciate her taking more than 4 hours off work. She kept trying to interrupt by telling me how bad she felt. That did not work. I just started spitting out all those words of wisdom that my Feline Mother With Nine Lives taught me.
1. Don’t cry over spilled milk…it is easier to lick from the table than to get from the bottle anyway.
2. Birds of a feather, flock together…so with a little practice you can kill two with one stone.
3. If at first you don’t succeed…don’t worry, the world is full of rats. Another will be by shortly.
4. If you are thrown from a horse…remind yourself that you are a cat, albeit a stupid one, you are a cat not a saddle.
5. Curiosity will kill you.
I reminded Sheila, before leaving, that I expect her back at work early tomorrow morning. I also reminded her not to wear that ridiculous looking sling-inner-tube apparatus. I told her she looks like she is going tubing down the Flint River and does not know how to swim.
She gave ma a rather curious looking smile as I waved good bye.
(Wait a minute. Was that an authentic smile, or was she gritting her teeth and snarling? I still have nine lives because I remember #5 from above, I will assume it was an authentic smile and be on my way.)