(a parody of HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS)

by Laura Ainsworth

Every kid down in Kidville liked reading a LOT
But the Left, who controlled education, did NOT!
They wouldn’t say why, but we all know one reason:
To read the wrong book means you’re guilty of treason

They also just hated the folks on the Right
They said we’re oppressors –- at least, if we’re white
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their brains were two sizes too small

Whatever the reason, their brains or their hate
They cancelled the books that they deemed out of date
They stared at the kids from their i-vory tower
While focusing all of their brainwashing power

“We can’t let them read Dr. Seuss!” they’d exclaim
We have to get started erasing his name
We’ll target six books with some troublesome art
While keeping in mind that it’s only the start

“Kids LOVE Dr. Seuss!” said the folks on the Right
They knew they were facing a censorship fight
“He taught children how to be loving and kind
And how they could grow up to be ‘color-blind’”

“Color-blind??!” screamed the left, their eyes practically bleeding
We MUST find a way to keep children from reading!
To think, the un-wokeness their minds could retain
They’re reading the Bible! They’re reading Mark Twain!

“And old Dr. Seuss, he’s the worst of the lot
If kids want to read him, we’ll say they must NOT!
We’ll say he’s a bigot and lacks credibility
And give all the children that book WHITE FRAGILITY

“We’ll find all the books that aren’t focused on race
And gather them up, and we’ll hide them someplace
We’ll substitute books that reflect our obsession
With transgender studies and racial oppression

The kids down in Kidville would all cry boo-hoo
When they found out what leftists decided to do
The fun books were gone, and they felt really feel sad
The white kids were taught they deserve to feel bad

But parents arose, they had had quite enough
They fought for their kids, and it got pretty rough
They went to the School Board, and all had their say
And their courage and heart grew three sizes that day!

They brought back the books that the left had rejected
And made sure that freedom of speech was protected
The books were all safe and were put to good use
And we, ourselves, honor the ones…by…Dr. Seuss!

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