Archive | January 19, 2020

The King’s Weather Forecaster

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a
fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just
a short time I expect a huge rain storm.”

The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages.
He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way.

However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and
Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to behead the meteorologist.

Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position
of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey. And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. And thus the symbol of the democrat party was born.

The practice is unbroken to this day.

FBI Job Available

 

 

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you find your wife sitting in a chair… Kill her!!”

The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to kill him with the chair!”

*
*

 

ON MY SOAPBOX…Use it or lose it

Image result for soapbox free pics

WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

If you don’t use it, you lose it. I remember that title slogan from my youth. I never believed it until I started receiving my Senior Discounts, but I sure believe it now.

Old Father Time and Mother Nature work as a Tag Team. They sneak up on us.

One day Marvin Gaye was telling me what he Heard Through the Grapevine,  The American Breed wanted to Bend and Shape me while Johnny Nash wanted to Hold Me Tight…the next day, it seems, I was getting Senior Citizen Discounts from The Cracker Barrel.

We have all heard about the overwhelming onslaught by Social Media. We are losing our ability to have real, face to face, conversations.

Now cursive writing is a victim of Progress. There is no need for cursive writing when it can so easily be replaced by a keyboard. I will miss the art of cursive writing.

Many years ago, a group of people in South Georgia began the process of having a portion of land become incorporated into a township. The gentleman who filled out the paperwork was not an artist, he was just a country gentleman with the will to help with the project.

He completed, with his best cursive ability, all the essential paperwork needed to create a town in South Georgia. It happened….Fort Valley was officially incorporated to become a town.

You may ask yourself, why is there no fort in Fort Valley? It is because the penmanship was erroneously interpreted. Fort Valley was meant to be Fox Valley. It was too much trouble to change all that paperwork, so they left the town’s name, as it was wrongly interpreted, Fort Valley.

I find that quite sad. Was it poor penmanship or a lazy reader? I would bet there were more foxes than forts in the valley. Especially since there were zero forts.

So today, in the name of progress, we eliminate cursive writing from our educational system. Why shouldn’t we?

Well, first and foremost, our Constitution is written in beautiful cursive penmanship. The Constitution is the Law of our Land.

Who will interpret the cursive legend for future generations? My guess is…. no one.  We are already trying to kill our Constitution by making it a living (changeable) document. We have allowed our Constitution to be questioned and abused and it will eventually become disposable.

I would bet all the gold in Fox Knox on that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

*
*

THE SPHINX——CATS, RATS, AND OTHER

_______________________________________________________________

The Washington Post Delivers a Scorching Shot and Chaser On the GAO Report Saying that Trump ‘Broke the Law’

These are great covers.

https://nypost.com/cover/covers-for-wednesday-january-1-2020/

Mind-Blowing! 58% Of Attendees at Trump’s Wisconsin Rally Were NOT Republicans, Up from 43% in Ohio

https://www.breitbart.com/

_______________________________________________________________

The Editor: Is this just about animals, LL ?

Biological Cat: No, but if you want a cat that you can kick around, here is one.

https://nypost.com/2020/01/09/worlds-first-fully-autonomous-robot-cat-is-programmed-to-be-aloof/

Here is a sweater with a likeness of Pigleosi.

https://nypost.com/2020/01/08/rag-bone-selling-395-pizza-rat-sweater/

The FBI wants help, but is too politicized to prosecute their own.

Heads Up: The FBI Needs Your Help to Find the ‘Bad Wig Bandit’

President Trump Roasts Christopher Wray for Letting ‘Dirty Cops’ Skate Despite Committing Federal Felonies in the Carter Page FISA Affair

These dogs are liked.

https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/ups-dogs-the-viral-pet-page-that-has-attracted-millions-of-likes

If Bernie can’t handle a campaign comment, can he handle the Chinese, North Korea, Iran, MS 13, or blowing up American Embassies ?

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-sanders-warren/flap-with-warren-knocks-sanders-strategy-off-course-idUSKBN1ZG17G

This is good news.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/01/17/exclusive-peter-navarro-previews-phase-two-of-china-trade-deal/

A big old fish.

https://www.foxnews.com/great-outdoors/fisherman-350-pound-warsaw-grouper-florida

Those Germans, sometimes I think they are funnier than the Mormons and Amish combined.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-germany-diplomacy/german-foreign-ministry-backtracks-after-sense-of-humor-failure-idUSKBN1ZG17Z

A little bit won’t hurt them or you. The government says this concerning everything from gun control to Agent Orange.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-california-airplane-school/delta-flight-dumps-fuel-on-l-a-school-26-treated-for-minor-injuries-idUSKBN1ZD2OP