ON MY SOAPBOX…Valley of the dolls


WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

Capitalism is a wonderful thing. When I get bored, I can always think of a new adventure that will make me millions of dollars. Don’t laugh. Remember…once upon a time, Mattel made the very first Barbie Doll. Barbie was followed by Ken, friends, wardrobes, doll houses, doll house furniture, doll vehicles, etc.

Here is my idea. I am going to produce Democrat Voo Doo Dolls. Are you laughing yet? I am so excited. I have already made my first prototype. I have had a few set-backs but I will get past them.

My first doll is Voo Doo Nancy Pelosi.

As Pelosi’s first outfit, I chose to swath her “Kente Style.” She will wear bright red, it will coordinate with the rhombuses of green and blue in the Kente cloth. Her Kente stole will swing to give her an appropriate swagger. (That is not a typo, I did not mean stagger in this case.)

Why Kente, you ask? Why Heels, you should ask.

Kente…because it is indigenous to Ghana. Skilled artisans have been weaving the cloth for hundreds of years. She used it to represent her fake respect for George Floyd. Joe Biden attended because he thought they said Pink Floyd. George Soros demanded that Nancy purchase the best Kente cloth his money could buy for the Riot-Producing Celebration. So many Georges, so little time.

(As a side note, a loyal reader pointed out to me that George Soros should have given his secret of longevity to RBG. Old George Soros is 90 years old. He can still spew hate faster than Andrew Cuomo can kill old people in nursing homes. Let me move on, Voo Doo George is a doll for another day.)

Heels…because I have already bought them…how was I to know that after kneeling for eight minutes and forty-six seconds the old bat could not get up from the floor? Enough! Do you want to buy the doll or not?

I apologize. I needed a little break. I will never make my millions with such a quick temper.

Voo Doo Nancy will be delivered with her own little Speaker gavel. It is embossed with a picture of Joe Biden saluting the Chinese Flag in his basement while wearing his mask. A collector’s item, I guarantee you.

Yes, yes I understand  you need to know the set-backs that I overcame before you invest. 

Well, the contractor who made the Pelosi dolls formed her in the “Kneeling Kente Position.”  What do you want me to do about that?  All I can do is take a loss and unload them as quickly as possible.

So if you order in the next 30 minutes, I will include Nancy’s little sub-zero freezer….OK…. two of them. Yes, the freezer is big enough so that you can put Voo Doo Nancy in it. Just be sure to remove the beautiful MAGA hat from her head. You would not want to treat that hat with any disrespect.

I will also include really nice pins for all my dolls. In fact, I have already stuck them into Voo Doo Nancy for you. It is a really generous supply of pins. She looks like a really healthy porcupine.

Order now. The supply is limited.

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “ON MY SOAPBOX…Valley of the dolls

  1. You had me laughing 😂 so much I nearly wet myself. You forgot to add a picture of all the little children Biden keeps in his basement, to hang on said doll house, baited by George and sold by Oprah and others. Regardless, I want that Pelosi doll!!! I know whole bunch of people who would love to partake in playing with those dolls. Voo doo against treasonous traitors… well, I will bring the Fire and Air, if you will bring the water and Earth. We may as well form a coven. They all have one, why shouldn’t we? We will display our MAGA hats with pride and form a circle to protect the great people of these United States from the evil far left’s shenanigans.
    Love you,
    Jessica

  2. Send me one please. I am going to sit it’s creaky ass in my largest fire ant mound and watch them go to work gnawing her eyeballs out of her wrinkled up old cranium!
    Wow Wee … got carried away there !

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