Good Night Now…Johnny Carson/Ed Ames

ON MY SOAPBOX…Men are happier, well maybe


WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

Face the facts, Ladies. Men are just happier people. What else should we expect from such simple creatures? You are a man, so…your last name stays the same. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Two Hershey bars and a Reeses cup is just a snack. You can wear a white T-shirt or no T-shirt to a water park. You can never be pregnant, unless you are Pete Buttigieg.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress = $5,000. Tux rental = $100.  New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about guns and cars.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes. One color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Men can enjoy going out with their friends for lunch easier than women. They are always, relaxed, happy and jovial. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need because it’s on sale. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom has never been calculated. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

Now you know why men are happier. Their lifestyle is much simpler.

 

BUT REMEMBER MEN………………….

 

“A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.”

 

Create comics meme "lion , lioness , brothers our smaller " - Comics - Meme -arsenal.com

 

My favorite is the owl….

captions for animal picturescats with captions funny memes

funny captioned pictures of birds

funny images with captions

funny pictures funny captions dogs addition

good captions for picturesfunny cat facts

Magic????

Cartoon Parrot Stock Photos And Images - 123RF

 

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.

The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week. However, there was a problem, the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show, “Look, it’s not the same hat.” “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was, after all, the captain’s parrot. One day, the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another.

Finally……the parrot said, “Okay, I give up. Where the hell is the boat?”

*

KNOCK, KNOCK…KNOCK, KNOCK…HELLO…ANYONE HOME?

“Good Morning…On this beautiful, Autumn, Georgia day. I have a very important Special Delivery Training Message for Governor Brian Kemp, if you will  please wake him for me!”
-Sheila Tolley-

 

THE SPHINX—INTERESTING

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The Sphinx wants to see Clinton’s hospital bed empty.  One loyal reader suggested that if he checks out the Ghislane Maxwell ( EPSTEIN ) case could get started.

https://redstate.com/jenniferoo/2021/10/14/bill-clinton-hospitalized-in-irvine-ca-for-non-covid-related-procedure-n456973

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The wedding of the week is here–free vaccines.

https://nypost.com/2021/10/13/jennifer-gates-having-extravagant-new-york-wedding-this-weekend/

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The Murdaugh Diary could just as easily be titled the Biden family diary.

https://nypost.com/2021/10/14/alex-murdaugh-arrested-on-felony-charges-after-leaving-rehab/

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New York City joins Californication as best place to steal, rob, and kill with little or no penalty.  You go de Blasio.

https://nypost.com/2021/10/09/nyc-drug-store-shelves-empty-amid-shoplifting-surge/

Joe forgot.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/guybenson/2021/10/07/afghan-refugees-released-americans-stuck-n2596939

https://thefederalist.com/

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New York has $5.00 a gallon gas.  Vote Democratic.

https://www.fox5ny.com/news/gas-prices-hit-5-in-manhattan

Kyrsten has already told FJB her demands.

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2021/10/13/kyrsten-sinema-takes-a-shot-at-the-white-house-and-disappoints-democrats-everywhere-n456176

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Here you go !!!

https://nypost.com/2021/10/12/nets-announce-kyrie-irving-is-banned-from-team-until-hes-vaccinated/

I guess it depends on whose ox is being gored.

https://redstate.com/wag/2020/06/20/ka-blooey-is-having-second-thoughts-n244034

https://redstate.com/

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Breaking News Cat:  Are there interesting things going on, LL ?

Busy Bee Cat:  There sure are, here is our old favorite.  We have been reporting on this building for years.  The problem is the construction company did not sink the foundation to BEDROCK.  They saved a few bucks.

https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2021/10/07/update-despite-warnings-repairs-on-san-franciscos-millennium-tower-caused-additional-sinking/

This video is 5 years old.

Here is more ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/10/08/business/ireland-global-tax-deal-oecd/index.html

This was printed on October 10, 2021.

https://www.ctpost.com/news/article/Hundreds-of-thousands-of-U-S-troops-have-not-yet-16522715.php

Very interesting.

https://babylonbee.com/news/17-things-with-a-higher-approval-rating-than-joe-biden

This is interesting.

https://nypost.com/2021/10/06/why-elvis-never-recorded-dolly-partons-i-will-always-love-you/

 

TODAY’S MEMES

 

 

Today’s Accidental Invention…Super Glue

Back in 1942, Harry Coover was looking for materials he could use to build clear plastic gun sights for the war, but what he discovered instead was a chemical formulation that stuck to everything it touched. However, his discovery was rejected because researchers didn’t see a need for such a sticky formula, and it wasn’t until 1951 that the same formula was embraced and repurposed by Coover and fellow Eastman Kodak researcher Fred Joyner as “Alcohol-Catalyzed Cyanoacrylate Adhesive Compositions/Superglue,” as the patent reads.

man using super glue