WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY
I want you to imagine yourself in a nightmare with me. First of all, we must assume that we got our hands on some really bad mushrooms because bad dope would not cause a nightmare of this magnitude.
Just suppose that Gaffe Joe Biden or Socialist Bernie Sanders accidentally becomes president. The first thing we have to worry about is who their choice was for Vice-President. I say that because I do not believe either one of these jokers will live for five more years. Gaffe Joe Biden has already threatened to ask Stacey (I am the governor of Georgia) Abrams to be his running mate. Oh yes, she is one of our Georgia prizes, isn’t she? I guess our other Georgia Icons, Honey Boo Boo and her sister Pumpkin were too busy filming another reality show to consider being Gaffe Joe’s running partner.
Bernie went on his honeymoon to Russia and forgot to come back and Joe is blackmail material for Ukraine. Then we have the Queer Mayor of Southbend, Indiana…..Pete Buttigieg. How much more disgusting can we get? The acronym for his husband, who I assume will be referred to as the First Gentleman, since that is the opposite of First Lady, will be harder to pronounce than Buttigieg’s name. We will go from our most beautiful and classy First Lady Of The United States (FLOTUS) to the FGOTUS. Excuse me while I go throw up.
Hold on, don’t awaken from your nightmare yet. Then we have this Wild Apache Elizabeth Warren. She enters every rally dancing around like she is doing the Y part of the YMCA dance by The Village People. I think she found some drugs more potent than our mushrooms.
What a sad country we could have? The only positive thing I can say at this point is…..I am glad Castro dropped out because……I could never make myself say the words President and Castro in the same sentence when referring to America.
Oh, but wait….The Wicked Witch of Chappaqua, is not dead yet. Hillary could still come waddling across that finish line in a contested convention.
LET’S WAKE UP……I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER!